I Love You…Somehow Just Isn’t Enough

I love you

Resting in my heart

You’ve tied my hands around your face

And left me speechless

In the wake of my doubt and distraction

Opening my love to others

And my voice to you

Spinning in endless circles with you

I’ve found a place I can call home

I found people I can friends

Safety for a lost soul

Comfort in the trust of one another

We do not share blood

Or maybe we do

I don’t know if I’d be here without you

I’m smiling to hold back the tears

We departing

But never gone

Never forgotten

This lasting resonance inside of me

Never enough

To simply say goodbye

I say until next time

Because I’m sure we’ll meet again

But if not

Because I cannot predict time or fate

Then thank you for your kindness

And courage

To accept me into your circle

Now I must go my own way

Determined to give back to the world

That gave me you

That gave the first word

In a never ending sentence

A promise

Of something greater


Headfirst Slide Into Quarryville On A Dare

Cast a spell over a city

Sudden fondness develops an entity

That warms every part of me

Boy meets girl, I’m reluctant to speak

Girl speaks first, and I hide what she can see

Broken before, I can’t open the door

Though there’s more to her, so much to know

There’s more to her than what meets the eye

Softly sitting hair, ravishing smile

Spinning closer and closer in her gravity

I think I could stay here for a while

There’s times when I get flustered

And in her presence, my lack seems to muster

All of it’s envy and disappointment

But it’s the essence of her beauty

That doesn’t shine on the outside

But through the outside inside

I can only sigh, she makes this place better

I can only smile, she makes me better

I don’t know how, and there’s not a Why

But I love this feeling, that much I know

It’s not a rush, it’s not a high

It’s the quiet consolation of a lullaby

The silent chronicle of chance

Not Disappointed With You

I’m not disappointed
No, not hardly
I’m a disappointment
That’s the essence
Of the presence, the lessons you learn
From failing at faith
Faithfully raising your hopes to get shattered
Pieces in rotation in orbit around the doubt
In your mind
All the time, you feel like you’ve made it
Level nine
Then something knocks you down eight times
Am I on ten yet?
I wish I could relate
I wish I could find a place
But I’m back in the back of the race
Reaching out like they tell me to
But when they build barriers
Not bridges, I’m left speechless
And defenseless
Breezes blowing through the holes left inside
Every day I say for the last time
But the idea stirs me
The possibility grabs me
And the reality throws me back
I’m never to have you
Never forever
No disappointment
Just reality

Mystery Blogger Award: You’ve Been Nominated!


I’ve been nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award, this time by  Jamie. Her blog, a very colorful and informative page on life with Aspergers (near and dear to my heart), is one of my all-time favorites and is a joy to read.

The award was created by  Okoto Enigma and you would be remiss not to check other work as well!

The rules for this award

* Put the award logo in your blog.
* List the rules
* Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
* Mention the creator of the award and provide a link to their blog too.
* Tell your readers three things about yourself.
* Nominate 10-20 people for the same award.
* Notify the nominees by commenting on their blog.
* Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice and one weird/funny question.
* Share links to your best posts.

Three things about me:

  1. Flirting makes me hungry
  2. I just completed the GTA V storyline and its hands down the best game I’ve ever played
  3. My two favorite women on Earth


My best posts (in my opinion, because obviously other people might like other ones more)

Chemical Romance

Never Ending Love

Cure For Autism, Part One

Cure For Autism, Part Two

Lake Of Loneliness

My nominees











Feeling moderately lazy, so I’m not going to hit up everyone’s blog page. If you feel like doing it, great, but if not, just know I really appreciate what you do here on WordPress.

Blogger Recognition Award: Thanks For Choosing Me Over Everyone So Much Cooler


For the third time in less than a year, I’ve been nominated for the Blogger Recognition Award.

This time? By my friend over at Cocoons Are Sometimes Comfy. https://cocoonsaresometimescomfy.wordpress.com/2017/05/15/blogger-recognition-award-when-being-recognized-is-nice/ One of my favorites on WordPress, I’ve grown close to the words to this poet’s fantastic words and similarities regarding life on the autism spectrum. The stories are sometimes eerily similar to what I’ve gone through, and the resounding strength that speaks far after I close the page is rarely outdone. Thank you friend, you’re the real MVP (or however they say it on social media)

Anyway, the rules:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Write a post to show your award.
  3. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  5. Select 15 other bloggers for this award.
  6. Comment on each blog to let them know you’ve nominated them and a link to the post you created.

My blog started back in late August of last year.  I had known about my aspergers for four years but had done little to do anything about it. WordPress has always been addictive to me, but this was different. And better. Blogging gave my voice some wheels, and the knowledge I gained from books (and soon other bloggers, like my sweet soul sister’s Laina, Beth, and more recently the wonderful voice behind Just Me) began to steer my life into the direction I never thought it would. I started opening up, and sharing my experiences (https://marylandpoetblog.wordpress.com/2016/11/07/an-aspergians-confession-part-one/), being honest about the struggles my condition gave me (https://marylandpoetblog.wordpress.com/2017/01/18/an-aspergians-chemical-romance/?wref=tp), and really just discovering my voice as (from what I’ve been told) a pretty damn good poet. Thanks to so many wonderful voices, I’ve learned more about myself, become a better person because of it, and in turn been able to shine light for others who were just like I was just a few years ago.

Two pieces of advice for you new bloggers. One, just post. Pressing “publish” is the hardest part, but once you do it, the momentum will carry you to wherever you want to go. Don’t make yourself do anything. Let it happen, and you will be surprised what becomes of it. Two, say thanks. There are COUNTLESS blogs, so the fact that someone took the time to read (and maybe comment/reblog) yours is very, very special. Ever since I started, I always remember to say thank you to my readers. It’s not hard to do, and doesn’t take much time. It shows you care about others.

Now, to my nominations….


https://femiiesther.wordpress.com/ (I will ignore her words “I  I can’t think of why so many people will like it” in reference to my favorite band)










Six Minutes And Forty Two Seconds


 Underneath artificial lights

of lamps down the steep drop

of York Road

I called again tonight

to listen in

to this newly discovered soul

Someone says she’s always happy

to hear this voice

but it’s only truly real

when you listen for yourself

and hear the elation

of two minds appreciating the creation

of something neither one could have foreseen

even with the wisest of sages

We speak briefly

of school, writing, and weather

it’s short, but sweet

and ever-increasingly joyous to think of this person

I have yet to even meet

Why? I don’t know

My guess is as good as the distance I can throw

but I am thankful for her heart

to be open towards mine

for hands that craft bittersweet rhymes

and for a mind

that in some ways

is like mine


Thank You For Being There, When I Wasn’t There For Myself


I’ve covered a lot on this blog, and there’s still so much I wish to share. My mind is truly unlimited when it comes to words, emotions, and wishes. I’ve shared a lot of my failures, and my triumphs too (going on 40 days without a smidget of porn). I have an incredible following (2,030 followers as of publishing), and I hope it grows even more. I’ve been posting since August 2016, and I’ve come to know some of you. Maybe you feel the same way about me, and maybe you don’t (that’s fine), but I’m grateful for the support, encouragement, and joy you’ve brought me. I wrote a little piece for you in return….

Dropped into my life

just a bunch of orange dots

in the corner of my screen

You seem to be overly confident

in someone you’ve never seen

I don’t know why

all I said was hi

I guess you saw the grief, the strife

in years you’ve already lived

and you pressed send

You have confidence

in me

and while it seemed to lack common sense


I am strengthened

by your words

truth and kindness

never heard

Your care


and your face

part of this revival

In a world

with so many choices

I have

so few voices

I love all you

but to Tina, Maureen, Charlie, Stevie, Patty, Jeanne, Summer, Sascha, Kelly, Brian, Michelle, Little Person, Anna, Rachel, Davy, Beth, Okoto, Kendra, Brenda, Rosema, Marisa, Fallen Saint, Ana, Jonathan, Patty, Wallace Peach, Ivy, Vonita, Dorinda, Joice, and the Secret Poetess

you’re a special group


A Bit Of Aspergian Infinity


I asked everyone last night to leave something positive in the comments (https://marylandpoetblog.wordpress.com/2017/01/10/an-aspergians-letter-to-old-friends/) and I would use it in a poem. Well, here it is. To tell the truth, reading the comments on my blog over the past month have really  cheered me up. I’ve realized that I have an amazing following, and you are all so encouraging and helpful, that I couldn’t feel sad anymore. My self-confidence may not be high, but knowing that there’s someone rooting for me, well, that makes me want to do my best.

Digging deep down

Infinity on High in the background

“Baby boy can’t lift his headache head”

“Isn’t it tragic?”

I know what’s tragic

not being able to conjure any magic

the words and emotions of  friends and strangers

I just pass it

Your hand reaching out

burns this devil

the inner doubt

never comes out

I never come out




or risk upsetting

something I didn’t create

I just manage it

like Alex Smith on third and eight

Look too deep, I might make a mistake

So I take off, slide for a few

If only they knew

that I have a big heart

and want to play this part

without ridicule

without shame

so what if it’s got a crazy name

that’s me


And I love this life

I love my words

I love to give

strength and courage to others

Maybe I’ll never be the guy

that leads a march

But give me a pen

or some computer keys

and the truth you’ll have to see

“Thanks for the memories” he says

still not any sweeter

but I’m glad to have met her

In a little time

I learned

that one try

can lead to years of hope

To shake the cobwebs of apathy

you must cling


everything you love dearly

whether it be much

or little

the answer

is simple

This life

is worth holding onto

and till death do us part

I’m going to share it with you








I haven’t even had this blog for three months, and already I have an amazing following. But the likes? When I started this blog, it never crossed my mind that I would get this much…I don’t know what to call it. Love? Recognition? Devotion? Consideration? Let’s just leave it unnamed for now. I’m so excited, and so grateful, because there’s so many blogs on WordPress (65 million plus according to one source), I am honored at the fact that people take time out of their day to read my work.

So, for the recognition, I wrote something for you all, and I hope it encourages you to keep reading, commenting, liking, and everything else you do! 🙂




I knew my words would have so much power

and that I speak louder

on a page than with my voice

but you, reading and liking these words I write is your choice

I’ve never understood how the words come out

I just tap into sadness, despair, anxiety, loneliness, and doubt

Not everything I write is good

I hoped you would

show me the way to perfect my craft

you do every day, and I’m grateful for that