What If I Told You

 

ee8f7357eee65f68ed3f3b1520e11ce3--enemies-quotes-fall-out-boy-lyrics

What if I told you

I wasn’t alone

and I had been lying

to you like her

I like you

(I adore you)

You’re a good person

(You’re my everything)

I think I’ll see you soon

(I love you already)

The darkness peels back

as the fabrics fall off

silky skin

Clothing lies in a trail

of tears in wonder

at the perfection

of delicate sin

Naked ambition

in a provocative rendition

of Leonardo’s Mona Lisa

Perfect woman

meets searching eyes

is there one inch

that doesn’t incite delight

Staring into crystal balls

falling back into the black

as we reach the pinnacle

of this devious waltz

Bodies tangled

reaching the fantasy of gravity

and the peak of agony

as quickly as she comes

we go our separate ways

the lights come on

and I’m jolted awake in pain

because what if I also

told you it was a dream

and I fell asleep alone

like every other night

Advertisements

Memories Of A Survivor

ghostsofroses

cry tears of shame
he whips into shape
the back of shallow
wishes never meant
face scourged
and rent in fury
violence unbeknownst
to the outside
I’m just a face
to the outside
I forget my place
with long sleeves
an black apron
I descend into the valley
blend in with you
laughing in feigned joy
hey
if only you knew

Sick Of The Autistic

I’m just sick

of the autistic

genius are some

interesting are none

ruining my world

causing my advances

to become undone

stimming is gross

do it somewhere else

pleasing yourself

to lower anxiety

you have less than none

in sympathy from me

you broken and breaking

mentally divergent fool

no program or grant

could ever amount

to the reality that you can’t

compete with me

don’t lie to me

they say be anything

but you’re nothing but a nuisance

to us

don’t fuss

just jump

and return to us our peace

who cares about your broken pieces

I’d taste just as sweet

if you weren’t analyzing so much

cut and bleed

stoop and scream

die and dream

you’ll never make it on your own

don’t try to be a hero

and why be a slave

when you can be a fraud

Fading Essence Of Time

tears

In

Out

They’re watching

Waiting

Done all they can

And then more

Stabbed by time

Bleeding love

Hands on a pale chest

Are terrible sutures

Struggling to grasp

The essence of moments

Drifting away

As the hand drops

From three to six

To be together

Might have to be

The last wish

There’s nothing to do

Come on

You can do it

You have to

I have only you

Only you

But she forgot how

To turn on her love

So fading away

In the very first scene

With his newlywed

Beside his bed

In

Out

Fate is on a rout

…So I Chose You

THE-BOLD-MOM_sad_paul

I needed a soul

To write on

I needed a spirit

To give wings to words

Young and restless

But virgin

Defenseless

To make something

Sane

Out of rotten

Depressed

Mind

Sticking forks

In walls sockets

Asking to die

Pulling out too soon

Someone to burn

The edges of memory

Watch them blacken and fade

Then disintegrate in my anger

The earth knows my troubled thoughts

And the back of her hand

Knows I have the self esteem

To match

Followed her

Into the room

Turned the lights out

Just to slow the headache

Numb the contusion

I didn’t want her to see

How filthy I was

But I know

She already knew

She was me

Everything I wanted

Nothing I needed

You can stick a rod

In every hole

And watch every video

Until you’re raw at 3 am

But if you don’t have hope

You’re nothing more

Than the sheet you drop on

Or the doorknob that catches

What’s left underneath your fingernails

I needed eyes

To cleanse

Whatever was inside me

And I’ll give you my whole life

To make me half human again

I needed redemption

So I

Chose you

Contempt For Much (Most Of Which Is Me)

THE-BOLD-MOM_rain_paul

light sprinkles

of rain hardly dampen

my desire for words

darkness brings them to life

storms and calamity set the stage right

and lightning crashes bring the light

my veins pulse and pound

from a heart that can’t contain what I love

brewing with contempt for so much

most of which is me

silent teenager with flash rages for grenades

don’t touch me

falling inside the cracks

brimming with tears from an unwanted past

and a seldom accepted future

alone

together with my dreams

that I can’t make come true

watch him sail off

a starship aloft with you

I’m still stuck in gravity

mind warps are boils anew

too much black and blue

to ever come true

and when I do

they leave

and I achieve

what the misunderstood have always

attention

but in the worst

possible

way

I’m no human

but a trial

so put the bunsen burner to my soul

and let me join my fellow spirits

somewhere they can’t get me

ever again

 

The Cold World (Outside America)

the-wounded-sky

cold world

we live in a cold world

rising temperatures have the oceans

whipping up super storms

destroying lives, stealing homes

and we scream catastrophe

yet we murder those

before they’re even born

and we scream humanity

because it’s progress giving women power

to pick and choose who to kill

we’re America and yet we behave like savages

it’s a bitter pill, seeing the death at record rates

far from a thrill is the torrid pace

we’re racing towards war, China, Japan

and North Korea

but good forbid your last name is Lee

hate to be ya, wouldn’t wanna see ya

when the blood starts raining

I won’t tell who’s black, white, or green

when the nukes start dropping

how many will think it’s another Hollywood dream

there is no green screen

that’ll protect you from the fall

so I learn and grow while I have the chance

before the shit hits the fan

with very foul word

and every legalized murder

with every ignored crime

like telling people GMO’s are fine

when our corn is recognized worldwide

as a pesticide

with every child sold into slavery

and every liberal who gets upset

cause Trump called Hillary a nasty lady

with every Chinese worker who commits suicide

to make your iphone, don’t ask why, it’s too late

when the government tells you

that men and women are all the same

and there’s no such thing as aliens

our clocks are ticking

and we’re too stupid to ask why

So I’ll ask you now

what are you doing with this time

 

 

 

 

 

The Trail Ran Cold Long Ago

cb6474075cd14c1d5a571d2e5d272ebb--my-heart-it-judy-garland

<cue the piano>

some day I wander

waiting for you

the trees grow green, then fade to brown

and here I’ve been

with only the sound

of faint breath

to stem the tide of anger

rising up inside

where are you

brown leaves are scattered with foot falls

as the crunching snow becomes my last call

the trail ran cold long ago

how far can a dove fall

before the crows come calling

the snow melts

under summer heat

but your darling face

I regrettably did meet

you ran far longer

and faster than I

not afraid of danger, the Queen of time

pushing boundaries until the end

no wonder your heart gave out

long before mine

<place hand on her heart>

 

Once and For All, Torn Apart

torn_apart_by_umbatman-d7eesio

deep underneath the guise

of dedication to fortune and fame

is the hollowed out heart

suffocating on its own misfortune and shame

will crushed into powder

to keep up the hallucination

of their minds ultimate game

of hunter and creation

spirit and soul

turned against each other

a stone to the head silences any doubt

Cain has killed his brother

sometimes I wonder

why I was even born

what is my purpose than to boil

in the cosmic soup of my own scorn

why do I love to hate myself so

beat my lungs until I’m sore

with words and writings

of a car crashed soul

there’s no where to put

this blood I’m losing

out of madness comes bruising

and organs shipped in cooling containers

because I’m basically tearing myself apart

these heavy breaths are the floating ark

in the flood of my heart

once and for all, torn apart

For Texas and Louisiana (Live Another Day)

drone-video-hurricane-harvey-flooding-se-houston-940x529.jpg

Warm winds blow

Over dusty lands

Grasses shrink underneath bare rocks

And trees link arms

Sun is afraid to shine

Upon what is to come

They want no part

Waters rise high above us

Oblivious towards what is coming

We humans, so fictiously cunning

Berating mother earth

In danger of becoming

Nothing

Once the waves come

And waters rise above the dams

Damn humanity

Damn our need to be powerful

When we should only seek

To be at peace

Now lives are swept away

By torrents of rain

Too much to drain

Now I see brave men

Drop in from airplanes

Save me please, save me

So I might live another day