Nothing Worth Your Affection

inside these walls

trembling words stir in the depths

burgeoning, recovering

to show the world their best

inside these walls

the laughter echoes through halls

of stone and skulls, failed attempts

by those too kind to leave me

and ignorant to be left

inside these walls I close my eyes

and pray to the ceiling

I need strength

just one more day

because inside these walls

I am in oblivious peace

but I cannot stay here forever

so the masked man comes out

and the timid soul remains barren

hoping the shadows will bring me love

or her disappointment

I am nothing worthy of a woman’s affection

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What I Couldn’t Have

you’ve got my staring eye

pit pat pit pat go dripping these words

down the gutter of your heart

steel and sturdy towards the outside

protecting of all your cares

was I once where

here, or there?

I didn’t want to be a last gasp

last chance boy

I didn’t want to be “next”

or “oh yeah, him”

I was to be your first

sunrise from the night

moonlight

after the darkest day

I still think of you the same

I only wanted to be had

I only wanted to be glad

I only wanted

what I couldn’t have

Our Flash Fiction Marriage (Mirage)

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I don’t care

I never did

I just wanted

You

To love me

That’s all

I ever wanted

Just a moment of your time

A sunset lit

Front porch

Late July evening

With a pretty face like yours

Freckled with green

Lanterns in a soul

Like Irish luck

Poetic eyes

With an R-rated mind

Wrapped in the body of a flash fiction marriage

Or mirage

Because when the night falls

The admiration fails

All possible desire

Sunlight is a Chris Sale

And each one of my dreams

Is retired

I could run all night

Just to remember that dream

Cause I got one shot at love

And

I

Missed

Left Alone With You

light takes off

into the abyss of memory

dusk and dawn forget how to behave

and I’m left alone with you

skin shivering from the warmth

radiating from our veins

deep green eyes

are the lighthouse to the end

of loneliness with you

fresh scars spill old blood

bonding ties become undone

and bruises never tasted so sweet

as I’m left alone with you

pumpkin flavored breath

seduces the fabric of my being

I’ve fallen for another

as I’m left alone

with you

God, What Have You Become (Abuse)

solace

heaven’s a fraud

and hell, smoldering lies

over the still breathing heart

of virgin truth

if there is a kingdom on high

then strip my abuser

of the flesh on his wretched bones

blast a nine mile hole

in the lump of flesh we call a heart

the same way he mocks my chains

watching the bolts travel under wiry flesh

malnourished limbs tremble and traverse

the vague pretense of air

under the roof of domination

there is but death to breathe

carbon monoxide flushed down my throat

where is this Christ

that you place your hope

awash in my own birthing blood

and fed the waste of my exploitation

the mercy of this Lord

is near undone

when I rise on the steak

splinters pierce my lungs

there is no last gasp for me

so instead I cry in lonesome defeat

God, what have you become

 

Someone Beautiful Is Reading This

betrayal-big-moment-e1425261332528

Dinning room silence

Except for a kitty purring away

There’s words knocking on my mind

I can’t explain them away

Especially not today

I actually slept well last night

No midnight sleepwalks

Two a.m. shivers

From a dream I had

The night before

The poet inside

Comes to life

And I’ll never

Put it to sleep

The muse is not what motivates

But the feelings I get

Writing what he or she

Has to say

I need no inspiration

Its part of why I love this life

Just a pen and my thoughts

I’ll put it somewhere

Maybe on your heart

Cause someone beautiful

Is reading this

What If I Told You

 

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What if I told you

I wasn’t alone

and I had been lying

to you like her

I like you

(I adore you)

You’re a good person

(You’re my everything)

I think I’ll see you soon

(I love you already)

The darkness peels back

as the fabrics fall off

silky skin

Clothing lies in a trail

of tears in wonder

at the perfection

of delicate sin

Naked ambition

in a provocative rendition

of Leonardo’s Mona Lisa

Perfect woman

meets searching eyes

is there one inch

that doesn’t incite delight

Staring into crystal balls

falling back into the black

as we reach the pinnacle

of this devious waltz

Bodies tangled

reaching the fantasy of gravity

and the peak of agony

as quickly as she comes

we go our separate ways

the lights come on

and I’m jolted awake in pain

because what if I also

told you it was a dream

and I fell asleep alone

like every other night

Still Burning For You

 

 

ghostsofroses

wrists tingle

and predisposition melts away

usually blown off

until something easier comes along

and steals my soul searching

every

single

time

until now

I have to feel it

everyday I’m reminded of the chasm

the wounds clotted but always bleeding

because I myself couldn’t let go

picking and eating

the waste of my youth

the blood of your choosing

to deny me the freedom

tastes ever so sweeter

and then melting my tongue

when I finally accept

that I was defeated

my own self worth

believing I could do no better

saw me murder and bury

the promised land I deserved

now I sit before it once more

again given the chance

I prayed for redemption

and someone listened

shocked at the mercy

ashamed I needed it

and empowered by the fate

I can have at last

Basically I Like You But I’m Really Bad At Saying Why

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when I like them

I become the oddest creature

you would ever witness

elevated well above

my natural habitat

I feel strong suddenly

and I am proud of that

I spill too many words

even my poems feel bare

and I rave inwardly of accomplishments

I’ll probably never reclaim

or I become insanely aggressive

not physically

but mentally

I choose my words more carefully

as to tell as much

through as little as can be

I become reckless

and careless of the journey

for the sake of destination

words meant from friends

become public access

now I am ashamed of the natural

and am left to reside

in a shell of tepid posture

and gradual resignation

I shall never achieve

whispers behind backs

become the bonds to my railway tracks

and every breath is a wheel

that makes death

a little more sadistic

 

The Trail Ran Cold Long Ago

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<cue the piano>

some day I wander

waiting for you

the trees grow green, then fade to brown

and here I’ve been

with only the sound

of faint breath

to stem the tide of anger

rising up inside

where are you

brown leaves are scattered with foot falls

as the crunching snow becomes my last call

the trail ran cold long ago

how far can a dove fall

before the crows come calling

the snow melts

under summer heat

but your darling face

I regrettably did meet

you ran far longer

and faster than I

not afraid of danger, the Queen of time

pushing boundaries until the end

no wonder your heart gave out

long before mine

<place hand on her heart>