Between Our Lungs

A shot of vodka might to the trick
Because after tonight, I’ve lost my click
My niche, my passion, and my pride
Kissed away by your heartache tonight
Every time I’m with you, I get dragged down
By your bottomless pit and decadent breath
Always wishing for me to bring you up
Show you the light of day, and make you well
I’m not a doctor, just a writer, just a lover
With too many words and not enough hands
Too much desire, and not enough mouths
To fully satisfy my desire, claim my thrones
And truly be at peace with my living
She’s half-dead, which makes her half alive
But I don’t know how to save her
I don’t know if I can, every single night
She crawls between my lungs, presses down
On my heart, and I let her cry
I let her bleed anywhere she needs
Everywhere, she seems, to be breaking apart
I cannot heal, only mend
I cannot save, only hold on to
She wishes for me to come with her, maybe
I should
Maybe I would be better dying together
Than living alone

I Wasn’t Alone (It Was An Aspie Dream)


What if I told you

I wasn’t alone

and I had been lying

to you like her

I like you

(I adore you)

You’re a good person

(You’re my everything)

I think I’ll see you soon

(I love you already)

The darkness peels back

as the fabrics fall off

silky skin

Clothing lies in a trail

of tears in wonder

at the perfection

of delicate sin

Naked ambition

in a provocative rendition

of Leonardo’s Mona Lisa

Perfect woman

meets searching eyes

is there one inch

that doesn’t incite delight

Staring into crystal balls

falling back into the black

as we reach the pinnacle

of this devious waltz

Bodies tangled

reaching the fantasy of gravity

and the peak of agony

as quickly as she comes

we go our separate ways

the lights come on

and I’m jolted awake in pain

because what if I also

told you it was a dream

and I fell asleep alone

like every other night



The Autistic Man


No one considers

The plight of man

The autistic man

Cunning but curious

At the things he must do

To feel such emotion

Power and powerlessness

In the palm on control

He never knew

We grow up as outcasts

Because we don’t know

How to play

Special interests dominate

What we think, do

And say

Selfish we must be

To put out of our minds


Except for this magical thing

We cannot seem

To do without

Our posture is funny

As is our fashion sense

The way we hold our hands

Or stare into the crowds


We may be silent

But in ignorance of our presence

Breaking normality

We speak loud

Growing up takes a toll

No friends in school

Or very, very few

Unable to be ourselves

Or else attacked

By you

Who don’t recognize

The beauty

In neurological difference

The possibility

With our magic

Exponentially endless

But we keep it locked away

Hoping to survive

Another day

Before you discover us

And the mask

Is stripped away

Love is equally understood

But not in finding another

Who thinks the same

Frightened by bare honesty

Ashamed by difference

And brain washed by culture

That they need a strong


Out going man

They ignore us

Laugh at our advances

I see these things

And know them

Because I lived them too

I will never be accepted

By the majority of you

Consider the plight

Of the autistic man

And ask yourself

If all there is to one

Is what you see

How can you ever accept

The infinity

That will set all beings fee

I don’t know what the world

Will to do us

I don’t know if you will ever

Have what we want

But through this poem

Being read by you

No longer can you say

I never knew

Child Born Of Tremor and Turmoil



writing is my love

my life

the beginning and end

of an always speaking wife

we noticed one another

while drifting away from life

on the verge of exiting

she stole the knife

we courted on balconies


and windows crept through

by cellphone light

we wed four years ago

happy as could be

believing us

is all we would ever need

marriage is not

without difficulty

for to unify two individuals

someone must be subverted

to keep the peace of another

so I remained silent

pregnant by another

far more ravenous insatiable lover

and when the night falls

I run to her

begging to be spared

and spare the world

of a child born of tremor

and turmoil

agony agony I cry

why do you leave me alone

to perish

Phone Calls To Someone I’d Like To Know


Sitting inside with sleet falling

hoping a special girl

will come calling

she’s got dirty blond hair

and a pretty little voice

that makes your ears melt

Standing by the window

staring into the dark

I dial the number

just the dial tone ringing

illuminates this lonely night

A crackling on the other end

then her voice

and suddenly I feel

like one of the other boys

A hi, I reply

and an hour transpires

before we say goodbye

it’s not what she says

it’s what she doesn’t

that slays my soul

that let’s me know

her heart

while tested

while put on trial

has come out stronger, for the better

and is fully whole

so I put the phone down

and dream away

thinking of when

I’ll see her one day


Drowning In Aspergian Love On A Rain Soaked Hill


Standing on the highest hill, she never asked why we came

I only mentioned sunset, how I could watch them again and again

Rushing out the door, I had forgotten to check the forecast

And standing in the open space, the sky became overcast

I felt stupid for being so careless

But she didn’t mind, being together, our hearts were weightless

On this planet of euphoric love, gravity did not exist

And the sweet air from her lips was my daily breath

and my bread, her body, perfect in every way

But as the rain fell harder, I felt the day had been ruined

“I don’t care about the rain, I’m happy right now, seeing you again”

Putting her hand in mine, angels may have well stopped time

because this love comes from a special place, the divine

Trinity as her name

and closed eyes in love

can see underneath, around, and above

I knew she was perfect

worth more than anything I ever knew

and inconsistent moans

gave a perfect view of the life I gave away

when I kissed her harder and harder that day

slumping in my arms

legs weak with pleasure

and arms trembling in ecstasy

there was no other

who could reach in me

so deeply

(My record for most likes on a single post is 76. Can this post hit 77? I’d love it if it could!)

Speckle of light: A poem on love in the face of death


You lit a fire in my eyes,

my morning star

You kept me warm at night,

my evening star

You were awe-inspiring,

my sunshine

You carried me when I was weak,

my angel

And lifted me to greater heights,

my wings

But tonight I bow before you,

this box bereft of broken and bloody bruises bewildering

Why did you jump? Why?

I could have caught you, I could have…

No, you weren’t bound to me,

so you flew

You were all around me,

my halo,

and all I have left is a speckle of light

Go See Vanessa: A love poem


Lovers embracing on the beach at sundown on Morro Strand State B
Lovers embracing on the beach at sundown on Morro Strand State Beach by Morro Rock in Morro Bay, CA 10 Jan 2010. Photo by Michael “Mike” L. Baird, mike at mikebaird d o t com,, Canon 1D Mark III, Canon 300mm f/2.8 with Circular Polarizer, handheld, RAW.

High waves crash on the sandy beach

Pale blue skies fade to lustrous yellow, purple, and red

For your heart I so often reached,

as your face leaned over mine I read

over the lock I thought could be breached

And as you told me so many things

I could not begin to contain,

I suddenly had a feeling, a ringing

that you would never come again

One day, I woke up and my bed was empty

“Go see Vanessa”, written on my desk,

filled my heart with despair and discord plenty


Love is a highway at 5:29



Pull out of your comfort zone
Far away from your home, and into the unknown
I guess you could call it fate
That every time I hit the road I find myself
Quite too late
The lanes are crowded
Unable to pass left or right
One slip and the moment is lost
Lovely evening turned panic stricken night
There’s so many out there
Big, small, and in between
Happy and sweet, angry and mean
Many I pass by, pushing faster as I go
Because that one I never wish to know
I slow down for others, even checking their rear
Wide, luminous, and ironically austere
But there’s one that stops me entirely
Hands up, windows out, breaks down
To her everything I am bound
Over mountains, under trees
Every passing minute makes this feel like a tease
But when I see her lights flash
Eyelids rise, pupils dash
And all I ever wanted was to crash
She sees me in the rear view, and I know she’s mine
Because love is a highway at 5:29

If You Were a Bowling Alley


(A poem in which the character, who uses the name Fall Out Boy when bowling, compares the act to a girl he likes but will never attain)

If you were a bowling alley,

I’d say you were fuller than it as at nine

If you were a bowling lane

I’d say tonight your body belonged to mine

If you were the holes of a bowling ball

I’d say my fingers were tight inside you

If you were a bowling ball

I’d say I possessed you

If you were a bowling pin

I’d say I pounded you to exhaustion

If you were the scoreboard

I’d say you were covered in red

You’re a perfect ten

So I’ll name you “strike”

I found you by luck

My spare

You’re mine,

and my opposite,

so I’ll call you Fall Out Girl