Fitting In

Fit right in

Outside the depth

The darkness of humanity

Ignore the calamity, here’s a football game

Check out this nice pass

Demi Mawby’s nice rack

Here’s some slips of useless green paper

We call it cash

But long time ago it was backed by gold

Now it’s backed by nothing

Worthless, yet we deceive for it

Kill for it

It’s amazing what we do

So much for so little, we think ourselves value

But we’re nothing but meager dribbles

In the buckets the cosmos rain down

Sit right here

Class is in session

Humans have advanced to the point

Where we’ve regressed

America’s in a recession

Not because of Trump

Or the “supremacy” of white men

But because we forgot our values

We forgot what makes life worth living

Freedom, not because of a flag

But because of a God

Because of the essence of soul within

Given not by presidents nor parents

But the universe itself

Before you go

Remember not just who you live for

But why you live for them

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Reluctance

Specks of dust

Cloud the perimeter

Sweeping the chaos to a corner

The negligent, the sinister

Standing behind my own bars

Like a hardened criminal

I try to stay positive

but the blood stays cynical

Symbiotic with my need to destroy

Is the molting of a teenage boy

Into half man, half beast

Trudging on for a feast not of food

Or hard drink

But love

The kind that makes you think

Why we ever stopped caring for each other

And when

Did social media ever become socially accepted

When did pressing a button

Ever mean the same as a literal kiss

I would be remiss if I said this was good

And though I have seemed to miss

The want from a girl

I am still a patient observer, my time will come

The best chase is that of a mind chastened

My demons run, angels flee to protect

And in time the negatives will be undone

Lofty are my dreams

Descending from a rejected heart

Because I know there is more to give

Than a half-reluctant spark

Collapse

Come back

To the moment where we realized

That what we were doing would never suffice

Alone

Conquerable

Separated

Devised against with ease

Somehow that was okay, being taken

And the token of our closeness

Was their ticket to a one-way trip to hell

You in their back pocket, me in the rear view

I won’t think of letting you go

Unable to blame you for being a rebel

That’s just who you are

Sometimes it takes you too far

And it stretches me to bring you back

You’re not mine, but you make me laugh

It’s not my time, yet I feel I’d collapse

If we never crossed paths again

Pathways

Elongated

Personifications

Of honesty

And goodness

Permeating the vessels of self

Corruption can only follow suit

When reflection is not considered

The warnings ignored by the rushers

To simply do

To simply be

The mountains are descended upon

With little thought or prayer

Blind ambition in a cyclical rendition

Of man attempting to be god

Peace is partitioned for the few

War is forced upon the many

We’ve become slaves to the system

And we’re too lost to know

We were even on the right path

Pain And Indecision

I have memories endless

And the words to detail them all

Yet I pretend not to know my past

Saying it was all awash

And not worth the time to discuss

The rains fall upon oft-walked ground

Ipull out a drink, because only silence

Can truly understand why I bleed

The rain is cold, the winds creep through

Yet bare skin hardly shudders, I’ve endured worse

Glasses fog up, becoming a hindrance to life

I feel with my heart, the only thing that feels right

Now I can remember everything that happened

I can, but I still won’t tell

Nature knows what I’ve done, but I’m still afraid

I feel the eyes of another watching over me

Casting doubtful glances upon my soul

I have a knife that could end it all

The truth I withhold could set me free

But I love the pain, I love the indecision

It’s all I’ve ever known

Half Hearted

Maybe summer’s finally here

The sun shines long and hard

Blades of grass tall and firm

I see bees, young birds in the trees

The clouds don’t hide the perfection

Of a clear blue sky

Or maybe I’m just losing consciousness

The failed surgery on a heart long lost

And lungs pitiful and putrid from breath

Wasted on the legs of one I couldn’t have

My eyes are nearly liquid in their sockets

And my ears fell off years ago

A miserable corpse would be too kind

I am truly the walking dead

Never enough hatred to make me immune

To the darling voices of angels

Sent to save my sorrowful past

Just enough love to make them think

I was worth saving

Simply, I cannot go on as I am

Simple and secluded, I am little as a man

But I am exhausted from being told I’m alive

I am tired of being the only true dead

Among the masses of half-hearted

Vessel Of Troubled Thoughts

The method of my madness

Is the confidence in blackness

In a meadow of white flowers

Some roses, some saps

In a forest of unintelligible raps

Small, handcrafted lines don’t stand a chance

And they never gave me one, no endorsement

But with patience and practice I absorbed it

Now wherever I go I pen the deepest passion

Without inspiration, just routine, no rations

Of any emotion I might be feeling at the time

Be it anger, be it guilt, be it sadness

That often warms as a thick quilt

Draped over a sick child in fits of agony

Don’t look at my misery, don’t behold

The catastrophe

But you can’t help but read, I can’t help but write

The tasers, headlamps, and body cams

The prisoners, the sentencers, the tweeters

They don’t scare me

Not nearly as much as I scare myself

Digging up these solemn regrets

And showing them off to the world

As if I were a vessel of troubled thoughts

With nothing left to give

What Words Bring

I had to get rid of me

To find Me

The suicidal depressions

And disappointment brewed

From pornographic misconceptions

The boiling, bawling anger I couldn’t control

Tearing myself from the flesh I called home

Descending into the valley, alone

I couldn’t come out until I figured how

Embrace my unique in a cookie cutter world

Screaming and crying until my nose would bleed

I was lost, so lost, it would seem

But when I went to sleep, I prayed to the walls

Please help me, lead me to something better

Something bigger and brighter than me

Everything in my eyes is failing, and I fell

Into dreams I haven’t had before or since

Wash my hands clean of the past

And embrace the new Me, the one you read

I don’t know what my own voice sounds like

Drowning in a chorus of many voices

Some needs are prioritized over others

But I always come back to the poet in Me

For words give me peace

Neither life nor death can bring