The Lonely Sign

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Cross my heart

You’ll never live

To see me die

Fooled me once

Now tricked me twice

I can’t do much less

Than trust my eyes

In the face

Of the things I do

We can see

How close time is

To finishing you

And don’t mind me

I’m not far behind

Taste the rain, dance in the shadows

Barrels align

On a dime

My head stands behind

The lonely sign

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Between The Lines

In between the lines

you can find who I really am

the love, the hate

I’m standing at second base

my face, my place

I’m still learning how to run this race

the joy, the shame

I’d give anything to try that date again

because in between these lines

is a long list of crime

among long lost time

my condition is completely benign

but the weight is a suicide assignment

no eye contact, no social outwardness

in a society run by extroverts

guys and their prowess run me over

girls and my expectations run me down

I really don’t fit anywhere

and I’m not going anywhere

I wish I could talk to you

I wish I could understand you

I wish I didn’t make you freak out

but that’s not my reality

so people don’t want to be apart of it

Reaching The End Of The Line

Everybody knows

What a lie you’ve become

Everybody knows

The truth you’ve undone

through the shots in the dark

you’ve ripped a hole in their hearts

through the lies in the days

you’ve started the meter on their beds

Everybody knows

you’ve given your life for theirs

Everybody knows

God is counting hairs

of your head, toying with the lead

in the gun he holds steadfast

of those present and past

you’ve spent so much time spilling on sheets

you’ve missed the girl of your dreams

and everybody knows

you’ve turned your wretched spine to the son

you’ve made the path of darkness your home

so cry your bitter tears, cry till you impregnate the earth

she will be your bitch, yours alone

everybody knows

you’re just a shame

everybody knows

it’s in your name

it’s riding behind you in the fast lane

can’t take a trip, cop a plane

insane, ingrained

I’m so tired of running

I’ll make myself lame

just to end the race

Nothing Worth Your Affection

inside these walls

trembling words stir in the depths

burgeoning, recovering

to show the world their best

inside these walls

the laughter echoes through halls

of stone and skulls, failed attempts

by those too kind to leave me

and ignorant to be left

inside these walls I close my eyes

and pray to the ceiling

I need strength

just one more day

because inside these walls

I am in oblivious peace

but I cannot stay here forever

so the masked man comes out

and the timid soul remains barren

hoping the shadows will bring me love

or her disappointment

I am nothing worthy of a woman’s affection

The Phoenix In Me

As an aspie, I needed my freedom

just as the wind comes and goes

I needed to be alone

So I discouraged them from seeing me

and shut myself into the closet

I wrote and prayed and ate and slept

but I never felt myself falling out

and away from life

I wrote of dreams I wished to have

I prayed for things I already had

I ate what I slept in

I slept in because I ate

Time withered away like my strength

to face the crowds, my enemy

my old friend, right beside me

and my father, belittling me

I curl up and listen to FOB

to drown out the noise

but listening to what everyone else thought of me

I lost my voice

and what you read everyday

is the beginning

of what I’ve rediscovered

On Swift Wings

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Sitting alone

By the window sill

It’s late into the night

Wind is sleeping

People aren’t stirring

But her eyes are open wide

Yawning loudly

She checks her watch

First customer of the night

Adjust her straps

Folds her hands

And breathes in deeply

Hoping she’ll get another chance

To say goodbye

Walking down steps

Darting glances in each room

Full of sex

But short on love

She waits

By the front door

Hoping her death

Rides on swift wings

Potent Poets

Fingertips glazed with potent

pictures of the fray

presidential missteps punch

humans out the person

poets ride like the cold winds

striking blows and leaving fast

the mangled guilt leaves a trail

for the universe to see

even the strongest eyes

will tear when stripped of belief

hope is wrong in the minds of some

choice allows something to be done

when the snow comes down

the cries go up

sounds of crashing content

demolish any source of common sense

railway tracks take lovers back

shoulders bearing caskets

tell us we won at last

Left Frozen As I

frozen

you were the only one

the only light to liven to my life

just breaths added and redacted

with each failing

just sins added and multiplied

with each stiffening of flesh

trembling

you weren’t the only one

the one of many knives to sharpen my edges

just scars added and redacted

with each kiss

just hate added and multiplied

with each sever of my spine

uprising

you will be the last one

the final tick of my clock

just rounds added and subtracted

with each glock

just sorrow added and multiplied

with each passing moment

I had broken

and left you frozen

as I

Beauty, Breaking, and Choosing

Paint me a picture

of what tomorrow has to offer

children rejected at distant borders

young wives lose budding husbands

to filthy coffins

paint me a picture with the blood

of aborted fetus

paint me a picture with the anger

of disbelievers

in the White House

where Trump says any and everything

paint me a picture with their tears

screaming, shouting for their voice to be heard

dear child, he cannot hear you

not us, not today

our world is cast into the fray

nuclear weapons are too easy a choice

but who cares for the average Joe?

how much does his voice cost?

what about his vote?

paint me a picture with the sins of blacks

and law enforcement

intertwined in a death game of the ages

breaking and being broken

Eric Garner was another token

and we all bought the lie with his dead body

how long will it go on

why is it the autistic that rallies you to the call

I’ve got enough of my own problems

my own pitfalls to maneuver

but I paint you this picture

riveting roulette of reckless

humans are so capable of beauty

humans are so capable of breaking

humans are so capable of choosing

what will you do

My Impossible Year

I’ve lost all hope

in humanity

because I’ve lost all hope

in me

I’m weaker than the dust

lost to the winds of the poorest farmer

I’m filthier than the eyes of the thief

always looking over his back

I’m the Katrina

to your poorly constructed soul

And the Trump

to your easily distracted mind

I can’t control myself

and alone, myself can’t control what I feel

I’m bleeding, soul sister

and my hearts too easily peeled

they see the sins, they see the tragedy

each breath I take

draws me closer to finality

and each step forwards

drags me backwards from reality

I’m standing in the rain

but I’m not cleansed

I’m standing in the open

but not worthy of assassination

I’m a drag on all of you

too loud to be ignored

but too useless to be near

I’ve lived yet another

impossible year