To Be Torn

It’s never enough to just walk away

You have to cut me as you go

Bleed me as you careen down the slope

Of all the problems you let mount

On top of me, you laid your cross

Skull and bones, you made your mark

Upon my heart you chose to rot

And cast your soul into the flames of hell

At the price of you, the devil let you take me

For a ride I could not fall off or stop

I could only watch from the clouds

As the whole world seemed to melt away

Into a sea of black my eyes began to sparkle

Being the only source of light I knew

If this is love then I wanted nothing more

Then I woke up to feet sunk through the floor

I screamed but they only slammed the door

Burning anguish collecting in my core

I thought she would simply let me go

But no

My body had to be torn

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Been There

Been there, by my side

Resonating through our conversation

Intertwined with the distance we share

So finish the task

Because I’m with you

Till the end of the line

Answers can be found when we listen

Not to them, but us

Not to everything, but the little things

Assertive convictions kick down the doors

I’ll always search you

My curiosity delves deeper

Every time you say never mind

They ask me where you are

And I say the left side of my heart

See my devotion, look at the rhyme

Marshall law, my words have taken me far

Avenging the time I didn’t know you were there

Restless mind wonders when you’ll follow

Inside the chamber of my soul forever

Etched in the canvas of my dreams

Silent Warrior

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There’s no expiration date on words
Or the volumes they speak when written
Passionately and proactively
Used as spears against the calvary
Swords against the horsemen
And flaming arrows into the windows of hate
I used to be bullied
I used to be beaten
But you don’t see me talk about it
For what’s to be gained from bleeding
All over again
And dabbing your finger in the crimson pool
To write save me on kitchen mirrors
For what’s to be gained in reminiscing
The near moments you were sure was death
Rather than expound upon it
I use it as a tool, a guideline for what I say
Ever present reminder of where I could still be
And where I am now
There used to be times when I wouldn’t speak
My skin grew dark
And my hands riddled with veins
For returning to the drywall
What I could never utter
I am a warrior, but one reserved
For every fighter knows there are battles
That must be set aside
And there are others
That are worthy of taking life
Or having it taken

Between My World and Yours

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Half-empty bottles litter the countertop
And the floor cradles my drunk conquest
She’s silently nestled
In between this world and the next
I watch, hardly consumed by the reckless
And wonder why we push ourselves so far
Our bodies collapse under constant pressure
And minds wrangle with us to do well
But drugs and drinks push our thoughts away
We drown them away, party the sensation
Rattling it until it bleeds out and collapses
Under the weight of our conscious desire
To love and writhe within each other, blindly
No thought, no foreshadowing, no expectation
From ourselves to do better, just living for now
Will kill us and spare us from tomorrow
This can’t be what we want, this can’t be
What we were only made for
To drink and eat
To love until we’re no longer pretty, and forget
Every promise we made to each other
Making out dreams that we cannot fulfill
Because we don’t care enough about us
To see them through
Everything is for the present, everything is now
Nothing is sacred, precious, or protected
I wonder what will become of a culture
That loves to make love but never complete it
With the action that makes it so beautiful
In the first place

DAM

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Driving
Driving home
Driving from work
Driving away from trouble
Driving until I come across truth
Driving until we become one body
Driving until I crash because nobody cares
Anyway
Anyhow, ask
Me why this
Bruise just won’t heal
Sharp pain increases in zeal
Innocence defiled by fate’s raw deal
Driven away tonight because I am part
One day I be able to find you
One day you will understand my pain
One day we can love again
One day we understand
One day we
Will find
Us
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What Have You Done?

Clamped shut

By the eternal darkness

The moon turns away from my pathway

Even starlight fails to reach my feet

Hell sweeps up the dust of faded memories

They take shape and taunt

Today and tomorrow hide in the absence

Of honesty, of purity, and of sanity

Mind and body crumble, unable to evade

The ever present interdependent pain

Of breathing lungs and thinking brains

That deserve not life nor rights

But receive anyway

Deserving the highest form of pain

Yet given a second chance in spite of me

The mercy and grace is unbearable

Reflecting upon the burns on your hands

And the empty womb of an infertile heart

Feeling the cries of children you left for lost

Inconceivable wreckage lasting for millennia

What have you done?

To secure the futures of Mother Earth

Before Father Time takes you back?

Who created the sea and the land

That we pollute and irreversibly condemn?

Shame on our breath, shame on our hands

The spirits dance in unison for our disarray

We created, then created too much

We thought, then thought not enough

Living until we loved everyone but ourselves

Loving until we lived for everyone

But ourselves

Supposed To Be

Slip down

And say a prayer

Say a prayer for me

I’ve been warned before

Talk and they’d find out

Walk and they’d break me down

My sounds vex their souls, it pains them

To hear me speak out, against all odds

At all costs

Engines revving from a night’s long rest

The daylight inspires to be my best

No, requires

For those still trapped in the darkness

And unable to fight

The fire may eat me alive

But I don’t mind the thought of dying

I watch the world burn in ignorance

People fight at borders over topics

Bordering lunacy

Rap lyrics, star feuds, why so much debate

The fattest beg for platters

The hungry ask for a piece

Give me peace as I search for the fruit

Of labor pains and love

The beautiful children, untouched by grief

And the gripping talons of government

Turning lovers against one another

Where has the magic gone

Between me and you

Dancing upon the ashes of the negligent

Judges of our unity

Kissed away are the bailiffs and sheriffs

We are nothing and everything to them

The embodiment of everything they hate

Because it’s all that we’re supposed to be

That Man

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Scared to be lonely
Scared to be close to you
Scared to be a slave to a finger
Scared to be free in myself
Just scared
The nighttime falls upon me so swift
The nighttime falls without forgiveness
The nighttime reminds of words misspoke
The nighttime reminds of hearts broken
Tailored
For disaster, my mind
For remembrance, my mind
For bitter memory, all time
For all time
Never to behold, merely to grace
Never to hold, merely contemplate
Never to love, only to lust
Never to die for, only to live
In bitter reflection
I could’ve been that man

Vessel Of Troubled Thoughts

The method of my madness

Is the confidence in blackness

In a meadow of white flowers

Some roses, some saps

In a forest of unintelligible raps

Small, handcrafted lines don’t stand a chance

And they never gave me one, no endorsement

But with patience and practice I absorbed it

Now wherever I go I pen the deepest passion

Without inspiration, just routine, no rations

Of any emotion I might be feeling at the time

Be it anger, be it guilt, be it sadness

That often warms as a thick quilt

Draped over a sick child in fits of agony

Don’t look at my misery, don’t behold

The catastrophe

But you can’t help but read, I can’t help but write

The tasers, headlamps, and body cams

The prisoners, the sentencers, the tweeters

They don’t scare me

Not nearly as much as I scare myself

Digging up these solemn regrets

And showing them off to the world

As if I were a vessel of troubled thoughts

With nothing left to give

What Words Bring

I had to get rid of me

To find Me

The suicidal depressions

And disappointment brewed

From pornographic misconceptions

The boiling, bawling anger I couldn’t control

Tearing myself from the flesh I called home

Descending into the valley, alone

I couldn’t come out until I figured how

Embrace my unique in a cookie cutter world

Screaming and crying until my nose would bleed

I was lost, so lost, it would seem

But when I went to sleep, I prayed to the walls

Please help me, lead me to something better

Something bigger and brighter than me

Everything in my eyes is failing, and I fell

Into dreams I haven’t had before or since

Wash my hands clean of the past

And embrace the new Me, the one you read

I don’t know what my own voice sounds like

Drowning in a chorus of many voices

Some needs are prioritized over others

But I always come back to the poet in Me

For words give me peace

Neither life nor death can bring