For Texas and Louisiana (Live Another Day)

drone-video-hurricane-harvey-flooding-se-houston-940x529.jpg

Warm winds blow

Over dusty lands

Grasses shrink underneath bare rocks

And trees link arms

Sun is afraid to shine

Upon what is to come

They want no part

Waters rise high above us

Oblivious towards what is coming

We humans, so fictiously cunning

Berating mother earth

In danger of becoming

Nothing

Once the waves come

And waters rise above the dams

Damn humanity

Damn our need to be powerful

When we should only seek

To be at peace

Now lives are swept away

By torrents of rain

Too much to drain

Now I see brave men

Drop in from airplanes

Save me please, save me

So I might live another day

Advertisements

Child Born Of Tremor and Turmoil

 

4127653707_7476ea3ccd_b

writing is my love

my life

the beginning and end

of an always speaking wife

we noticed one another

while drifting away from life

on the verge of exiting

she stole the knife

we courted on balconies

piers

and windows crept through

by cellphone light

we wed four years ago

happy as could be

believing us

is all we would ever need

marriage is not

without difficulty

for to unify two individuals

someone must be subverted

to keep the peace of another

so I remained silent

pregnant by another

far more ravenous insatiable lover

and when the night falls

I run to her

begging to be spared

and spare the world

of a child born of tremor

and turmoil

agony agony I cry

why do you leave me alone

to perish

Playing To The Beat Of The Winds

2

silent rolling hills

grasses still

as the trees standing above them

watchful soldiers

on the eve of battle

there’s a flower garden too

yellow

and purple petals particularly pushy

each inching higher than the other

for light

red brick preventing

further advance

Stonewall Jackson

come again

there’s a pretty little girl

dancing in the middle of it all

serenity mixed

with delicious vulgarity

as played with herself to the beat of the winds

enveloped me

fully clothed

yet confidently nude

in expression

and in awe of wonder

there’s no one to tell her

how to dress

or how to live

so she danced

she danced

and everyone that came near her

became white as the milk

that dripped

from her bosoms

 

 

I Didn’t Believe I’d Be Where I Am Today

Featured Image -- 4838

I didn’t believe

I would do anything that I’ve done today

I never saw, or even dreamed

that I’d be where I stand today

just a few years ago I couldn’t come out the house

in fear and angst at the outside world

just a few years ago I didn’t volunteer

and while confident in my abilities to be a published author

I never thought I’d have even a part time job

especially not in customer service

just a few years ago my whole life was porn and Madden

now I’m repaying the anger with hum of fingers on these keys

call me Darren McFadden

the anger I used to take out on my family

on strangers

on me

frustrated at the disability that I could never see

the desire but lack of strength to set this soul free

if only I could see the door trust me I’d make the key

now today I know I’m stronger than they said I’d ever be

when I put down the Clorox

and opened up my soul

to some guy living in the sky

I realized he could make me whole

He showed me that my condition

was a gift

put down the knife, put down the concrete

and mend this rift inside me

aspergers humbles me every single day

it reminds me that without him nothing will go my way

when I’m feeling down I put pen to paper and I pray

somebody please take this anxiety away

away

goes the pain

goes the regrets

go the doubters

and to everyone who saw me write nonstop

and said I was wasting my hours

this one’s for you

for the lovers

for the haters

for those who don’t know me

and those who wish they did

 

 

Alone

a_northern_light_cover

Alone

this is where you wanted me

wild, untamed

and free

raw, uncut

to be true to myself

was the only must

the animal side of humanity

is only a breath away

when walking nude among the trees

is how we spend our days

call me out

to dine with you

among birds and beasts

we do ourselves

well into the shimmering light

under a blanket of warriors and twins

Venus kisses us goodnight

if home

is where the heart is

then the wild it is

until to death we are departed

 

Mysteries Among The Melodies Of Silence

zerozero

Sudden warmth arises

a soul

drunk on restful slumber

to a sea of green drapery

teasing the eyes away

from the naked beauty underneath

fawns bouncing among the meadows

when touched by misty morning air

rays of sun crown a head

as the lunar glare dusts feet

when sliding underneath the heavenly arc

birds rest on tan shoulders

like trees, strong but gentle

I come upon her

and discover a flower

pretty and pink

this is mine, my shining time

I watered it each day

until a seed was born

and carried our name

throughout history

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Twenty-One: Something Beautiful I Haven’t Yet Put Into Human Form

WAMTAC

I can’t get enough of the way she moves

she’s so perfect

dancing long into the night with the groove

she’s so perfect, the way she moves

with hips so wide

and face so smooth

I wrestle with my heart, my mind

if I could turn back time

to before I was born

I wouldn’t have made myself like this

but here I am

with this condition of mine

I’ve got something to prove

and swimming in my veins

is the desire, the will

to make me fall in love again

twirling gracefully

she’ll soon call it a night

twirling seductively

I have to make her bite

I don’t have much to offer

looks seemed to skip this one

but as far as this room is concerned

I’m the only one

that stares long enough

and sits quietly enough

to hear the heartbeat

of a little bird

in the busty chest of a temptress

waiting to settle down and nest

with a forever lover

unlike any other

and that’s what I have over them all

just draw close to me soon

take my shaking hand in yours

so confident, so proud

and let us work the room

of life guided by infinity

with silence, and also with sound

I do, I do

I truly love you

and I’ve never been so damn sure

as I am right now

before your gazing eyes

and knowing all my past

will be made right

with a kiss, with a kneel

a ring, a veil

a storybook

waiting to be written

 

 

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Twenty: A Hypothetical Relationship Between Two Aspergians

abc

I figured it out

figured it out from black and white

I can’t pretend to be someone else

as much as I know it would make things right

between you and I

between you and I

I can’t be like them

the voicemail to God asking to make me normal

never got returned

and all these years

with countless advances spurned

now you know why

you and I

will never work out

because there’s no room for love

in the sea of my anxiety and doubt

You know I’d love you

to the moon and back

if I wasn’t so weird

and attracted to the beauty of the black

that’s what makes this so hard

I do and I don’t

have what it takes to be with you

and knowing I’ll never have a chance

shrinks any happiness

inside these pants

you and I

destined to be watchers, I suppose

without a hand to give one another

and filled with two hearts

that will never grow

passively watching the world go round

we cover our ears

at sudden sounds

and I’d call you out to dance with me

but we’ll miss subtly

of why I called to begin with

between you and I

it seems we were made for each other

but to everyone else

we’re just too desperate

to find other lovers

or too

disabled

we couldn’t get anyone else

anyway

 

 

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Twelve: Rekindling Lost Emotions

abc

Left with more questions than answers

with multitudes unexplained

is this really happening

or is stiffness guiding my brain?

the possibilities have me going insane

but the past haunts me

a cloud, without a sliver

of silver, but instead horrid pain

a promise never

to think that way again

has been broken to bits

time and time again

what a catch, what a catch

you fleeting face

tempting me only once,

but dancing in each and every place

if I could have one for life

I know I’d choose right

but I’m too shy to choose

so at this game I continue

to lose

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Six: Songs I Go To When I’m Sad

Part of being an Aspergian is the constant mood swings. One minute, I’m happily doing something, and in the next I’m punching holes into walls (I did as a kid. I was a really angry kid.) Other times I start crying for no apparent reason, only to start watching Family Guy and burst into laughter when Peter knocks all Brian’s teeth out. The thing I love to do most when I’m down is listen to music, and there some certain songs that turn me around the best. If you’re on the spectrum, name the songs that YOU like to listen to when you’re having a bad day in the comments below!

 WAMTAC

Whitney Houston’s rendition of the Star Spangled Banner: I know this isn’t a song, but her voice is so beautiful, so powerful, it really lightens my mood. It’s a damn shame we lost her.

 

Sent By The Father, Ray Boltz: I’m not a Christian, or a big fan of their music (I find it hideous, actually), but Boltz’s passion is evident from the first word. How can you not be lifted by the truth in Christ coming down and rescue us from sin?

 WAMTAC

Dance, Dance, Fall Out Boy: This song is so fun to sing, and have you tried doing the dance from the video? The sexual overtones may deter the younger listener, but for me, I love the lyrics “I don’t wanna forget how your voice sounds. These words are all I have, so I write them. So you need them just to get by.”

 WAMTAC

Thriller, Fall Out Boy: This song is not only the perfect beginning to their greatest album, but it also speaks to me at a personal level. Citing their rise to prominence, I think of how I’ve risen too, from a shy kid to a published author, and the lines “cry on the couch all the poets come to life, fix me in forty-five” are just stunning.

 WAMTAC

I Don’t Care, Fall Out Boy: If it isn’t obvious, I’m a big FOB fan. Mainly, because of the lyrical genius, and as a poet, I can appreciate that to a degree others wouldn’t. Besides, as a social outcast, I gain strength from the lyrics “I don’t care what you think, as long as it’s about me”. Patrick Stump himself said he’s a shy guy, so I relate to him as well.

 WAMTAC

Confident, Demi Lovato: One, she’s my Queen. Two, it confirms everything I ever thought about Demi. I knew she was edgy for a while, but this song (and album in general) confirms it. While I don’t agree with all her political stances, I love artists that don’t just talk about being different, but back it up in song. What really is wrong with being confident? Whether that’s in public, or in the quiet corners of your home, it’s a message that can speak to anyone.

 

Knew You Were Trouble, Taylor Swift: I genuinely don’t even like Swift, mainly due to her craziness and the repetitive nature of her songs (singing about your latest breakup gets boring after a while), but I’ve liked this one for a while. Rather than just saying how bad the boy is, she blames herself too. “Shame on me now…”

 WAMTAC

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark, Fall Out Boy: The very first FOB song I ever heard, I love this because it (along with every album since) is a brand new sound from my boys from Chicago. Whenever I feel down, I just scream the chorus “Light em up up up, light em up up up I’M ON FIRE”. It’s quite satisfying.

 

Reflection, Christina Aguilera: Okay, this song hits me in the feels every time, but it’s also thought provoking while being beautifully sung. (P.S her haircut in the music video is hot)

 WAMTAC

(All of Folie Et Deux, but mainly) Coffee’s For Closers:

I don’t know why I gravitated towards this song, and this album (the fans hated it, which is why they rarely ever play songs from it sadly) really, but I can’t stop listening. It’s arguably my favorite of all their songs, and between the lyrics, vocals, and violin solo at the end, it’s perfection in a bottle.

“Fly your cameras in the air, and wave ’em like I just don’t care. I will never believe in anything again…”

(I liked doing this so much, I might do a post compiling my favorite songs of all time)