Between Bleeding and Breathing

I want to love you

But I can’t

There’s something sensual

And quite offensive

In the youth of your hands

Sometimes you’re fantastic

And I’d gladly lie by your side

Take up your mantle

Riding with you till the end of the line

Shadows in the foreground

Never scare me, never steal time

When I’m dancing with your darling

Sometimes you’re staunchly impossible

And I’d gladly take your life

Watch the crimson run from passionate eyes

You were never meant to go on

Only die by my hands, in every possible

Rendition of time

But time does tell me, you’re somewhere

In between

Killed and to be killed for

Beating and breathing


From the finality of lust


From the hatred of your breath

And I turned you to dust


Mama Africa, We’re Coming Home

Ignite a fire in their bones

Mama Africa, we’re coming home

Segregated in 2018 yet we are not alone

When I spit these words, I’m in my zone

I don’t bust coverages, just your expectations

Master of standard English this ain’t my nation

Police officers killing our people, but I found a revelation

In the confrontation of the blood I remain in the station

I can’t escape black skin, and the stains attached

Our people are a stain to you, whites have tried to put a match to it

But I can escape your entitlement

Never content with contempt or chains

Put us in the back of the bus

Push us down to the South

Squeeze us into row homes

Punch us into prison cells

But I don’t forsake my calling, the anger causes me to swell

Studying the stares, recording the stalled reactions, to which I declare you’re not well

Not comfortable with my presence

My boiling blood fuels our essence

The spirit of T’Challa is within

The strength of King is within

The revolution of Barack is within

I am the next generation

And I come with thunder

She’s Missing, Not Gone

She’s missing
Not gone
There’s a difference, lovely
People feel the need to crave
Loved ones are not loved, simply a high
Hated ones are not hated, simply fuel
People feel the need to control
Loved ones are not family, but familiar
Hated ones are not outcasts, but plastic casts
I am constantly missing
And forever gone
My relation to you is whether you value me
As a piece on the board
The edges of society’s plate
Or a vibrant, echoing voice
Of which the beginning and end
Has no date

Reaching The End Of The Line

Everybody knows

What a lie you’ve become

Everybody knows

The truth you’ve undone

through the shots in the dark

you’ve ripped a hole in their hearts

through the lies in the days

you’ve started the meter on their beds

Everybody knows

you’ve given your life for theirs

Everybody knows

God is counting hairs

of your head, toying with the lead

in the gun he holds steadfast

of those present and past

you’ve spent so much time spilling on sheets

you’ve missed the girl of your dreams

and everybody knows

you’ve turned your wretched spine to the son

you’ve made the path of darkness your home

so cry your bitter tears, cry till you impregnate the earth

she will be your bitch, yours alone

everybody knows

you’re just a shame

everybody knows

it’s in your name

it’s riding behind you in the fast lane

can’t take a trip, cop a plane

insane, ingrained

I’m so tired of running

I’ll make myself lame

just to end the race

Sick Of The Autistic

I’m just sick

of the autistic

genius are some

interesting are none

ruining my world

causing my advances

to become undone

stimming is gross

do it somewhere else

pleasing yourself

to lower anxiety

you have less than none

in sympathy from me

you broken and breaking

mentally divergent fool

no program or grant

could ever amount

to the reality that you can’t

compete with me

don’t lie to me

they say be anything

but you’re nothing but a nuisance

to us

don’t fuss

just jump

and return to us our peace

who cares about your broken pieces

I’d taste just as sweet

if you weren’t analyzing so much

cut and bleed

stoop and scream

die and dream

you’ll never make it on your own

don’t try to be a hero

and why be a slave

when you can be a fraud

This Is For The Aspies



(As of now, this is my favorite poem I’ve EVER written)

This is for the aspies

Locked way in their rooms

Drawing, writing, reading, singing

Trying to fight off the anxious meltdown

Sure to come soon

This is for the aspies

That couldn’t get homeschooled

And had to suffer in public school

I cant imagine what that was like

And if you got through, thank you, but it’s not right

This is for the aspies

Who wear the same outfit everyday

And flap their hands when excited

I see the stutters, stares, and stumbles

And I love it

Because this is for the aspies

That don’t get the recognition they deserve

I’ve seen the hands and heard the tongues that produce beautiful words

Works of science, art, and math

Or maybe something simple like just making their own path

This is for the aspies

You never see, but always find

Too anxious, too shy to notice the time

They’re there, but won’t trust

Their own voice

This is for the aspies

The ones that can’t find love

Or don’t know what to do with it

You’re amazing no matter what they say

No matter

This is for the aspies

I’m crying for you, I love hearing you

Because my own home is yours

Connected and tired of the correction

Your home is mine

This is for the aspies

Broken but not without fight

Or riding free, with everything going right

This is gospel for us all

Don’t let the outside take our life

Whisper To Me



songs whisper to me

deep the valley of Mars

aliens strum away in crescent moons

Venus, fall into my arms so soon

traveling on a pathway of darkness

the words give me the light

wanderers we always have been

never alone but never truly at home

nuclear ties that love and lust

more and less we represent the best and worst

that is humanity

Adele calms me

hurting, crying, saying, regretting

she’s like me, far more talented

but just as broken by those who claimed to love

broken, huh

this world forgets how to remember

we suffer the calamity

if the earth is about peace

why is extinction the remedy

deep sigh

I wave goodbye

no, not you, HER

you know who you are

it’s like that sucker punch move in movies

when somebody starts running

and you think they’re coming for you

but then another person with outstretched arms

embraces them instead

it’s funny until it happens

to you

it’s funny until you realize

they always knew

people write their hearts

on your sleeves

but who’s willing to get close enough

to betray

and discover the secret to keeping the lie going

is the truth we never mention to tell

Child Born Of Tremor and Turmoil



writing is my love

my life

the beginning and end

of an always speaking wife

we noticed one another

while drifting away from life

on the verge of exiting

she stole the knife

we courted on balconies


and windows crept through

by cellphone light

we wed four years ago

happy as could be

believing us

is all we would ever need

marriage is not

without difficulty

for to unify two individuals

someone must be subverted

to keep the peace of another

so I remained silent

pregnant by another

far more ravenous insatiable lover

and when the night falls

I run to her

begging to be spared

and spare the world

of a child born of tremor

and turmoil

agony agony I cry

why do you leave me alone

to perish

Taking My Own Life


I just might give up

on life

maybe get reincarnated

and allowed to make it right

everywhere I go

people seem to be laughing

and everywhere I go

the masquerade is crashing

I’m not ten anymore, I can’t hide behind my family

I’m nearly an adult, even though I don’t want to be

I don’t feel like I’m ready

I . Don’t. Feel. Ready.

I can’t make friends, my family doesn’t even like me

“he’s not much fun to be around” I heard my mom say

and brother and sister agreed

“he hears more than you think he does”

that’s also true

and it’s why I hate you

uprooted me out of my home

never gave me a chance to adjust

and threw me a few miles north

become a man I must

or risk losing all I ever had

which was just pens, notebooks,

a nearly full writing pad

just over 225 blog posts, three award winning articles

and one published in the October 2015 Edition

of Teen Ink

but they never let me think

the way I was created to

they just expect me to function

the way they do

no wonder I fail, you stupid asshole

excuse the profanity

but I just can’t take it anymore

no space to be an Aspergian

no space to be me

but underground has plenty of room

that I’m sure you can see

the tension is rising, the anger turning me raw

my mouth bleeds

from the pressure of it all

I read works of other aspies

and see how they overcome

(thanks Laina, Beth, Marisa, Keely)

(I’m sure I’m forgetting some)

but they can’t solve my pain

they can’t give me a family

that understands my name

talk behind my back, just like my Dad did

but told me he was this terrible person

and here you are, pretending to be holier than thou

I guess that makes you worse, then

all I’ve ever wanted

all I’ve truly wanted

was a family who understands me

someone who hears me

and someone who loves me

for who I am

not what they want me to be

not what their eyes can see

I am autistic, but human first

please, let me live happily

God forbid I tell them

how I feel

they’ll just shrug it off

the weirdo at it again with another squeal

so I bury it deep inside

deep inside my bones

it’s rotting my mind

stealing my time

and taking me away from home

or maybe I want it to

take me away from them

they don’t know me, they never will

I can’t be free, so to this heart

can I kill?



The Reality Regarding Negative Expectations And Emotively-Founded Bias Against Aspergians


Don’t knock

I’ve already let you in

Being brutally honest

is my cardinal sin

Put on all the makeup in the world

I’ll still call you ugly

People laugh in hordes

and I still can’t find them funny

Complementing for a complement

is vain decadence

and dressing for someone you’ll probably dump

shows a lack of intelligence

Roses are red,

Violets are blue

Sugar leads to cancer

And, oh yeah, I hate you

Stupid expectations

and hilarious ignorance

“Aspergers is just an excuse for kids to be rude”

Why don’t you use some damn common sense?

When you’re ignorant, you excuse

and when you’re wrong

you change your views

Just admit that you don’t get it

And your PhD?

Worth a pile of shit

To those who live it

to those who own it

to those who hide it

and those not afraid to show it

Test after test, lecture after lecture

grant after grant, and law after law

Don’t you realize

that one isn’t like all?

Step away from your degree

and let me snatch away your glory

put you in a class of bullies

and see if you’re still holy

Here’s your homework: don’t go on the march

and instead play a more personable part

Sit down and talk to us

open up these hearts

UPSET ALERT: We’re not any different

than you

but how you treat us

is up to you


(Note: I’ve been unable to leave comments on way too many blogs recently. So, if you’ve barred me from commenting on your blog, or are having some technical issues, kindly letting me know would be greatly appreciated. My email is