Some Good, Some Bad, Mostly In Between

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Hello WordPress. Coming to you in my (very awesome) Fall Out Boy Bomber Jacket (I’m not walking around with this on, it was just for this pic), I’ve been more or less tired as of late. Mentally more than physically.. the days have really started to become blurs. Maybe it’s just the season, just the cold, but it’s a mildly oppressing moshpit of activities. Thanksgiving Week will be weird since Mary’s Gourmet be open Tuesday and Wednesday, which are days I usually spend reading and writing at home or at a park/coffee shop somewhere. Anyway. I’m an aspie holding a customer service job for nine months. Kinda crazy, but it’s humbling and a reminder of how far I’ve come. Customers are always telling me I’m such a wonderful presence, and that I’m always fast of my feet and finding solutions. Heh. Guess I blend in better than I thought I could. Or the gluten free diet is working. I haven’t been exactly GF though. I did order a gluten free pie from one of my favorite vendors at our farmers market for thanksgiving, so #Progress.

Registering for college next year. Now that my dad isn’t around to fuck up, I can actually get the school my tax information. Can’t believe he cost me a year, and way too much embarrassment. Haven’t really done anything school-related, which has allowed me to write a ton. Also, reading. I read Catcher In The Rye over the summer (hated it), but it was nice to have so much free time. It feels good to be writing, but not poetry. Been feeling down lately. Mostly upset with the lack of response from publishers about my book.  Blog views are down. Also having a hard time integrating at my Teen Arts Council. I was there last year but this year I can’t get there on time (work), so I miss about half a meeting. I felt like this year would be better, but I actually feel worse. I just can’t make friends. And none of the girls are interested in me. (Asks someone why). They’re gay. That’s news. I’m not upset, but it does explain the…I dunno how to put it. 

Been published twice in the last couple months on SpillWords….

http://spillwords.com/failure-for-all-to-see/

http://spillwords.com/dear-her/

Here’s my interview with https://mademoisellewomen.com

https://mademoisellewomen.com/2017/11/12/blogging-for-business-with-devereaux-fraizer-of-maryland-poet-blog/

You Were Meant To Know The Night Writing Prompt 

https://braveandrecklessblog.com/2017/10/13/you-were-meant-to-know-the-night-writing-prompt-challenge-devereaux-frazier/

Letting Go for https://tanyatale.wordpress.com

https://tanyatale.wordpress.com/2017/10/27/poetry-with-devereaux-frazier-letting-go/

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Liebster Award: You’ve Been Nominated! (Thanks ThatGirl4Ever)

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Thanks to ThatGirl4Ever for nominating me for the Liebster Award. She posted Award Nomination on the 17th of this month, but I just saw it yesterday night. (I get anxious even online, and often overlook things) She’s a great teen blogger with fun and interesting posts. You would be doing it wrong if you didn’t go check her out.

Ten random facts about me:

  1. Never been out the country
  2. Man crush on Travis Kelce (I mean, come on….)

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3. (You all know I love Kate Upton and Kara Delevingne, but also…)

bf541a6a51ea7d164e8ff6b0750c1f6f--mandy-kay-beautiful-models.jpg(one of the few PG-13 pics of my future ex-wife)

4. I’m afraid of heights

5. I eat Kiwi’s whole (skin and everything)

6. Also afraid of: large bodies of water

7. I didn’t know who Guy Fieri was until four months ago

8. Never eaten crab

9. I can’t sing

10. Once booted off Black Ops 3 for killing one guy too many times

Now, to answering her questions

What are you afraid of?

Girls. And centipedes.

What’s your fav. genre for movies?

Action. Anything with Jennifer Lawrence.

The tv show you regret watching?

American Dad. Because I watch at least five episodes every night.

What’s your top life goal?

Leaving as many people with the truth as I can. Especially about autism. And the reality behind politics.

What’s your fav. book of all time? (any language)

A Northern Light (tied with The Jungle) 

What are your most common top six lies?

I’m normal. I don’t want to get married. I’m okay. Tell me more. Writing is hard. Barack Obama was a decent president.

What would you use your one wish on?

Humanity. Stop killing one another.

What’s the first thing that attracts you to a person? 

If it’s a girl? The eyes. Smiles are close, though. (I usually say whatever’s inside their shirts but I’m really trying to tone down my horndog traits.)

 

Nominees:

Pretty Kool Dame

DarkFairyJournals

Broken Blue Sky

WenieGirl

Ana P Rose

King Ben’s Grandma

Brink Brink Break

Keely The Cynical Reject

Mystery Blogger Award: You’ve Been Nominated!

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I’ve been nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award, this time by  Jamie. Her blog, a very colorful and informative page on life with Aspergers (near and dear to my heart), is one of my all-time favorites and is a joy to read.

The award was created by  Okoto Enigma and you would be remiss not to check other work as well!

The rules for this award

* Put the award logo in your blog.
* List the rules
* Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
* Mention the creator of the award and provide a link to their blog too.
* Tell your readers three things about yourself.
* Nominate 10-20 people for the same award.
* Notify the nominees by commenting on their blog.
* Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice and one weird/funny question.
* Share links to your best posts.

Three things about me:

  1. Flirting makes me hungry
  2. I just completed the GTA V storyline and its hands down the best game I’ve ever played
  3. My two favorite women on Earth

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My best posts (in my opinion, because obviously other people might like other ones more)

Chemical Romance

Never Ending Love

Cure For Autism, Part One

Cure For Autism, Part Two

Lake Of Loneliness

My nominees

https://mademoisellewomen.com

https://autistichockeygirl54.wordpress.com

https://keelythecynicalrejectblog.wordpress.com/

https://abrokenbluesky.wordpress.com

https://americanbadassactivists.org

https://justelm.wordpress.com

https://nofacewoman.wordpress.com

https://prettykooldame.com

https://bythemightymumford.wordpress.com

https://annjekins.wordpress.com

Feeling moderately lazy, so I’m not going to hit up everyone’s blog page. If you feel like doing it, great, but if not, just know I really appreciate what you do here on WordPress.

CALLING ALL BLOGGERS!

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Over the last couple weeks, I’ve been thinking about how to improve my blog. The reason for my hiatus last month was to find ways to improve. My blog is a big part of my life, and I feel like if I made changes there, I should make changes here. Nothing fancy, but little things here and there. The things that are often overlooked but essential to truly having a peaceful, pleasant life.

Since Tanya over at https://tanyatale.wordpress.com has been featuring my work (thanks again, Tanya!), I’ve decided to do the same. There’s so many bloggers on WordPress that have helped me, so I want to give back a little. I’m going to start featuring bloggers in guest posts starting next week! 

Who am I looking for? Well, since this is an aspergers/autism blog, those who mainly deal with those topics will be first priority. I can’t post videos (I’m not that upgraded, yet), but stories, articles, and memoirs about autism/aspergers, along with general mental health, are all eagerly accepted. 

However, I’m not ending the invitation there. I’m leaving it open to writers and bloggers of all sorts. Your passion could be politics, art, food, or travel. Just as long as you love writing, though. If your posts are mainly/completely pictures, I can’t take it. (A picture here or there though is fine) If you do decide to send me your work, please include a short bio with your name (either your real one or pseudonym). 

(If you already have a blog, but want another place to put it, that’s fine too!)

To submit your work, email it to me at chiefssince09@Gmail.com, send me a message through my Facebook page, or direct message on twitter (follow @marylandpoet and I’ll follow back) 

I can’t wait to see what you send! 🙂 🙂 🙂

(And, if you could share this post to maximize viewership, that would be fantastic)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Blogger Awards In One: Mystery and Versatile

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Thanks to Just Me (https://silentfall.blog) and  1WiseWoman (https://wisewoman2016.wordpress.com/) for nominating for the Mystery Blogger Award and Versatile Blogger Awards two weeks ago, respectively.  Just Me is already one of my favorite bloggers, thanks to her beautiful (and sometimes amazingly sexy) poetry and wonderful sense of humor, while 1WiseWoman has been a blog devoted to strength, awareness, and support of those with mental illness. As Just Me is also an aspie, I can really relate to each and am grateful for the kind words they leave on my blog. YOU LADIES ROCK.

In addition to Cocoons’ nomination for the Blogger Recognition Award, it’s been an AMAZING week for the blog, and I am too eager to use this time to once again say THANK YOU to ALL my readers. Whether you’ve known me since August, or followed me today, you’ve made this all possible.

Rules For The Mystery Bloggers Award is:

 

  1. Post the award logo/image on your blog
  2. Thank whoever nominated you and give a link to their blog.
  3. Mention the creator of the award and give a link as well.
  4. Nominate 10–20 deserving bloggers and notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  5. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; including one weird or funny question.

The rules for the Versatile Blogger Award state that you thank the blogger that nominated you, nominate 10 other bloggers (and a link to their blog) and list 7 interesting facts about yourself.

Firstly, lets answer the questions from Just Me

1.  Name one thing that you do that always feels right, no matter what.

In the words of Edgar Allen Poe, “With me poetry has not been a purpose, but a passion”

2.  
Where do you draw the most inspiration for your blog?

Life on the spectrum, depression, Fall Out Boy, and girls
3.  
Who is your favorite anti-hero and why?

Batman without a question. As an aspie, I really relate to his ability to do work from the shadows and be extremely focused and to the point.
4.  What is the inspiration behind the name of your blog?

It’s the summation of what you might call my writing. Nothing fancy here.
5.  And, finally, what is your favorite genre of music?

I really don’t have a favorite genre. I have favorite artists, but my tastes vary too much to like one specific genre. If I had to choose, it would be rock because of FOB. But I also admire Lecrae (rap), Lady Gaga (dance-pop), and Demi Lovato (pop rock).

 

Now, seven interesting facts about me..

  1. The longest I’ve had a friend is four months.
  2. I’ve drowned two smartphones
  3. Live in Baltimore. Never had a crabcake.
  4. Took voice lessons when I was eleven
  5. Mandy Kay is my favorite model
  6. I pulled out two teeth once because it was fun
  7. Blonde girls are my type

My five questions for my nominees

  1. Favorite country?
  2. Stranded on an island and you can only have one thing, what is it?
  3. Beyoncé or Rihanna?
  4. How do you eat French fries: ketchup on top, or on the side?
  5. Name one guilty pleasure

And, for the nominations…(to save time, the nominees are for each award)

https://theconfusedsoulsree.wordpress.com/

https://randomsbyarandom.wordpress.com/

https://chaosxdblog.wordpress.com/

https://missalexiskamille.wordpress.com/

http://www.anxietydepressionandme.com/

https://teaandtales1.wordpress.com/

https://manumausam.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

 

Blogger Recognition Award: Thanks For Choosing Me Over Everyone So Much Cooler

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For the third time in less than a year, I’ve been nominated for the Blogger Recognition Award.

This time? By my friend over at Cocoons Are Sometimes Comfy. https://cocoonsaresometimescomfy.wordpress.com/2017/05/15/blogger-recognition-award-when-being-recognized-is-nice/ One of my favorites on WordPress, I’ve grown close to the words to this poet’s fantastic words and similarities regarding life on the autism spectrum. The stories are sometimes eerily similar to what I’ve gone through, and the resounding strength that speaks far after I close the page is rarely outdone. Thank you friend, you’re the real MVP (or however they say it on social media)

Anyway, the rules:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Write a post to show your award.
  3. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  5. Select 15 other bloggers for this award.
  6. Comment on each blog to let them know you’ve nominated them and a link to the post you created.

My blog started back in late August of last year.  I had known about my aspergers for four years but had done little to do anything about it. WordPress has always been addictive to me, but this was different. And better. Blogging gave my voice some wheels, and the knowledge I gained from books (and soon other bloggers, like my sweet soul sister’s Laina, Beth, and more recently the wonderful voice behind Just Me) began to steer my life into the direction I never thought it would. I started opening up, and sharing my experiences (https://marylandpoetblog.wordpress.com/2016/11/07/an-aspergians-confession-part-one/), being honest about the struggles my condition gave me (https://marylandpoetblog.wordpress.com/2017/01/18/an-aspergians-chemical-romance/?wref=tp), and really just discovering my voice as (from what I’ve been told) a pretty damn good poet. Thanks to so many wonderful voices, I’ve learned more about myself, become a better person because of it, and in turn been able to shine light for others who were just like I was just a few years ago.

Two pieces of advice for you new bloggers. One, just post. Pressing “publish” is the hardest part, but once you do it, the momentum will carry you to wherever you want to go. Don’t make yourself do anything. Let it happen, and you will be surprised what becomes of it. Two, say thanks. There are COUNTLESS blogs, so the fact that someone took the time to read (and maybe comment/reblog) yours is very, very special. Ever since I started, I always remember to say thank you to my readers. It’s not hard to do, and doesn’t take much time. It shows you care about others.

Now, to my nominations….

https://silentfall.me/

https://femiiesther.wordpress.com/ (I will ignore her words “I  I can’t think of why so many people will like it” in reference to my favorite band)

https://solitudeinsilence.wordpress.com/

https://so352.wordpress.com/

https://unabashedautist.com/

https://secretpoetess.wordpress.com/

https://keelythecynicalrejectblog.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Nine: Saying Thanks To My Blogger Community

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Until I discovered myself as a writer. Until I discovered my voice as an Aspergian poet. Until I realized the story I had to tell, I didn’t know who I was, what I was here for, and what life really meant. I was lost, but the blogging community became my home, and over the last year and a half, I’ve done a lot of growing up. I’ve taken a stand on various topics, and I’ve grown closer to other people with my condition. I wouldn’t have done it without you.

Michelle, you’ve been like a friend to me

and Tenacity, the funniest the Internet ever did see

Jonathan’s energy knows no bounds

and The Secret Poetess always comes around

Wallace Peach is sweeter than any fruit

And Nyx’s support makes the sadness moot

Marisa, Laina, and Beth

you’re the best writers I’ve ever known

and the grace, kindness, and tenacity you own

can’t be measured

and to Anna, anonymous as you may be

you give us a taste of the autistic reality

like the words of Charlie Zero and Sarah

Fantasy and Samantha

I’d hope to write like them

but that road is long

Alicia, Esther, Elm, Bethany

Emily, Ana, Monika, Anita

while I haven’t gotten to meet ya

I’m touched by the words you share

and I’ll never be normal

but for a moment, you take me there

to Brian Cook, I see how a man

should treat his wife

and I’m proud of you, as a soldier and a husband

that you know how to do it right

to Davy D, who with me from the start

and Rosema, sharing her beautiful heart

and hey Brian, your Packers

need a running back

and take a baseball bat to your defense

Belen, you shake up the sequence

of poetry on my reader

from the thought provoking work

of doubtpuppe, Jacob, and braveandreckless

to the fantastic imagery

of Dorinda, Sascha, and Jeanne

to my fans at Secret First Draft,

along with Daria, Heartafire, Jasper

Phobe, Denise, John Coyote, Katrina

your determination

is my inspiration

to be the best poet I can be

and every night

a little bit of my appreciation

is plain to see

and last, but certainly not least

is a gorgeous girl I have yet to meet

I thank my lucky stars for us crossing paths

cause you excite me more than anyone ever has

 

You all just don’t know how helpful you’ve been to me, and I’m so grateful to have people like you in my life, even if we are just behind computer screens.

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Seven: Autism Speaks Replies To My Letter

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Three days ago, I sent a letter to Autism Speaks in regards to their 2014 financial statements, along with their co-founder’s statements about autism (https://marylandpoetblog.wordpress.com/2017/04/06/autism-awareness-month-post-three-an-open-letter-to-autism-speaks/). Thursday night, they responded with this:

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to Autism Speaks and sharing this feedback. I am happy to share some information to help address these concerns that you have. More than 75 percent of every dollar spent has funded programs and services in science, family services, awareness and advocacy, exceeding Better Business Bureau guidelines each year. The majority of this funding goes toward science, followed by our family services, awareness and advocacy efforts. As we continue to implement our new strategic plan, we are working toward increasing funding in every mission area so that a significant impact is made for everyone affected by autism. You can find all our financial information in our most recent annual report, which is available on our website: https://www.autismspeaks.org/about-us/annual-reports. We do have two people with autism serving on the national Board of Directors, and others are employed in a variety of positions at Autism Speaks. In addition, many of our advocates and partners who have autism play a key role in awareness efforts around the globe. You make a very important point about the diversity of the autism spectrum: it’s absolutely true that autism is a spectrum disorder with many subtypes that affect people in vastly different ways. Individuals with ASD like yourself do have unique talents and ways of thinking, and we want to ensure that people with autism have access to the supports and services they need to pursue their talents and goals. We recognize that autistic people have a wide range of talents, skills, and interests, and we try to highlight these in our videos, articles, and blog posts we publish. Here are some examples you may want to check out

It’s also true that children with autism become adults with autism, so we also work on a variety of initiatives focused on adult services: access to housing supports and services, attending college, finding meaningful employment, and more. For some examples, I would encourage you to visit the following pages

Overall, our goal as an organization is to promote solutions, across the spectrum and throughout the lifespan, for the needs of individuals with autism and their families through advocacy and support. We are looking to increase understanding and acceptance of autism spectrum disorder, and advance research into causes and better interventions for autism spectrum disorder and related conditions. For more information on this, as well as our organizational vision and goals for the next ten years, please visit https://www.autismspeaks.org/about-us.   I hope this helps. I would be happy to provide more information on what we are doing to support the autism community – just let me know.

Best wishes,

Emily Mulligan

Manager, Autism Response Team

Autism Speaks 85 Devonshire St., 9th Floor

Boston, MA 02109

Do you think this email addressed my concerns? Does it feel genuine, or a general response email to your average complaint? I want to hear your thoughts below!

I’ll Open My Heart Since You’re The Fever I Can’t Sweat Out

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The doctor peels back my skin

to see what I’m made of

Cook, he says, there’s a lot in here

you should be aware of

he’s nearly died

countless times

and attempted self-medication

with girls and rhymes

has him comatose

who knows

how long he has to live

once slow to breathe, taking life in

the lungs replenish at a fever pitch

and the added weight

of depression and diversions

will soon bust the sitch

of a heart, punctured long ago

with the snap of closed doors

and punctuality in unanswered messages

I now know, I’m a freak

and if there’s one face he had to meet

it would be yours

because for some unknown reason

his greatest addiction was the widest door

infinity could ever open

and with your fantastical spirit

his soul was broken

smitten

at the kindness of your ways

and the hope you instilled

to cross paths

one day

but there is a fever

he can’t sweat out

and as much as he writes

he is plagued by the doubt

one wish above them all

one hope to drown out the storm

and instill calm

in a shipwrecked soul

kindred spirits

beat of the same magic

and with a simple touch

this scene can become less tragic

let her mouth

form the cradle of his rebirth

and let your voice be small in content

but rich in worth

Miss, bring her close

and have her speak

in silent whispers

and make sure your name

he will always remember

 

 

What Only Soul Mates Can Hear

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 Neon lights

line my trip home

passing by dimly lit homes

with my head, alone

in silent wonder

at how one word

can tear a life asunder

ripping hearts out

at the seams

and replacing them

with incredible dreams

never cultivated, never imagined

but fulfilling every wish ever fathomed

as I write, looking at the stars

just passing by

I think of you, sparking somewhere far away

with swooping motions you draw me a picture

and at first, I don’t understand

but with a soft voice, she takes my hand

and pulls me close to her beating heart

suddenly, I see it

I see it all

and I love it

these stars have been aligning

for years

and with the sun no longer shining

I can see it clearly

with silent words

that only soul mates can hear

I plant a soft kiss on each cheek

and put the sword to each of our fears