What Comes Next

How could I know they would betray me

All this time I thought we were inseparable

All this time

I thought we’d go to the end of line

But that line has been drawn suddenly

And it is here

Where we must depart

Going separate ways is in many ways foreign

To someone who has always had you by me

I’ve always made expensive mistakes

And you’ve paid each and every one of them

Maybe that’s why you have to leave

Because I pushed you away

Too soon I acted, too quick I reacted

And now I’m watching you leave, forever

Possibly

I didn’t know how to have friends, so I gained

Didn’t know how to keep, so I lost

Didn’t how I could die, so I lived

Now I’ve lived too much

You know what comes next

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What Comes Next

How could I know they would betray me

All this time I thought we were inseparable

All this time

I thought we’d go to the end of line

But that line has been drawn suddenly

And it is here

Where we must depart

Going separate ways is in many ways foreign

To someone who has always had you by me

I’ve always made expensive mistakes

And you’ve paid each and every one of them

Maybe that’s why you have to leave

Because I pushed you away

Too soon I acted, too quick I reacted

And now I’m watching you leave, forever

Possibly

I didn’t know how to have friends, so I gained

Didn’t know how to keep, so I lost

Didn’t how I could die, so I lived

Now I’ve lived too much

You know what comes next

The Problem Is Me

folding
There’s nothing left inside
Neither strength nor compassion
Peace nor prosperity
Love not hate
Just a fishing line with no bait
I’m dining a restaurant without a plate
I have the will, but lack the tools
Compassion, but without the mood to do
Love, but the animosity towards cowardice
It may seem as hate
So many people to call out, I’m left exhausted
Eight to ten people clamoring for my place
I can write until Titan collides with the moon
I can write until I finally receive the solution
To my pain
I can write until I finally feel accomplished
But nothing can fill the hole she left
No accolade can mend this broken bridge
No action
Except to drive off of it
And be allowed to forget it even existed
Let’s face it, I’m never to find her
Not with such combustible personality
Quick to anger as I’m quick with words
Slow to catch on as I’m fast to bring the action
Chasing my own tail, the problem is me
My own tales, my own fails, my own mess
All weighing down a once eager chest
Now I take my time around corners
I’ve been shot in the back before
Some similar piece(s):

What Have You Done?

Clamped shut

By the eternal darkness

The moon turns away from my pathway

Even starlight fails to reach my feet

Hell sweeps up the dust of faded memories

They take shape and taunt

Today and tomorrow hide in the absence

Of honesty, of purity, and of sanity

Mind and body crumble, unable to evade

The ever present interdependent pain

Of breathing lungs and thinking brains

That deserve not life nor rights

But receive anyway

Deserving the highest form of pain

Yet given a second chance in spite of me

The mercy and grace is unbearable

Reflecting upon the burns on your hands

And the empty womb of an infertile heart

Feeling the cries of children you left for lost

Inconceivable wreckage lasting for millennia

What have you done?

To secure the futures of Mother Earth

Before Father Time takes you back?

Who created the sea and the land

That we pollute and irreversibly condemn?

Shame on our breath, shame on our hands

The spirits dance in unison for our disarray

We created, then created too much

We thought, then thought not enough

Living until we loved everyone but ourselves

Loving until we lived for everyone

But ourselves

Liberal Promises Amidst Tragic Nothing

Tragedy

Seven letter word to describe the bottom

When there’s nowhere else to go

And every resource has been exhausted

Time’s ticking

And deathbeds are calling

You’re past hunger, you’re past pain

Past ever seeing anyone ever again

Now you’re waiting for everything to fade

And something, anyone, to call you

Home

Or hell, because it’s not as if

You wouldn’t deserve it

This life is filled with escapes and evidence

The point is whether you use them, believe

For a moment, that everyone is a lie

And everything you’ve been taught is backwards

Who would you trust, and why

Life is a hopscotch game done blind

No rhythm, no rhyme, just imaginary clocks

Wrapped around thick glocks burning shots

At single mothers hurried around the block

Bam, bam the hood’s gone up in flames

Choppers circle with the beaming lights

Midnight firefight, will our people ever get it right

Gun run, drug bust, turning sunny days

To endless night, don’t blame the whites

They didn’t create these ghettos

Or tell our fathers to leave

Doctor King said he had a dream, not a reality

It’s up to us to make it true, but we never will

Too busy falling for every democrat

Any liberal that promises more aid digs a deeper well, and we aren’t well

Nobody who says one life is worth more

Than another is sane

Obama didn’t help us

And neither will a guy in a shiny cat suit

We’ve been taken for a loop and we can’t get off

Can’t seem to remedy the loss

Because we won’t accept our part in the problem

Pass it off on the patriarchy, white privilege

The flaws of straight white men

But wasn’t it straight white men that saw slavery

Was wrong

Moral comes without color or gender, get that

We’ve run up a bill, and death’s come with the check

No layaway, no pay as you go

All or nothing

And until we give something

We’ll be left with what we’ve got

Nothing

Supposed To Be

Slip down

And say a prayer

Say a prayer for me

I’ve been warned before

Talk and they’d find out

Walk and they’d break me down

My sounds vex their souls, it pains them

To hear me speak out, against all odds

At all costs

Engines revving from a night’s long rest

The daylight inspires to be my best

No, requires

For those still trapped in the darkness

And unable to fight

The fire may eat me alive

But I don’t mind the thought of dying

I watch the world burn in ignorance

People fight at borders over topics

Bordering lunacy

Rap lyrics, star feuds, why so much debate

The fattest beg for platters

The hungry ask for a piece

Give me peace as I search for the fruit

Of labor pains and love

The beautiful children, untouched by grief

And the gripping talons of government

Turning lovers against one another

Where has the magic gone

Between me and you

Dancing upon the ashes of the negligent

Judges of our unity

Kissed away are the bailiffs and sheriffs

We are nothing and everything to them

The embodiment of everything they hate

Because it’s all that we’re supposed to be

The Final Solution

Mistakes

We make them all the time

Some come back to the same ones

Others can’t get it if their way

You wonder why

People make so many

When there are so many other choices

The reality is outsiders operate

Under hindsight

Well, this happened, so it must’ve been bad

We don’t know how things will turn out

Time is a ticking bomb

That just might not go off

Life is a young bird

Attempting to fly out of the nest

Too late, and it’s dead

Too early, and it’s dead

The middle ground is exponentially profound

And terribly hard to find

We’re all looking for the end game

But what sometimes we get in our own way

And the only way to win

Is to end yourself

Reluctance

Specks of dust

Cloud the perimeter

Sweeping the chaos to a corner

The negligent, the sinister

Standing behind my own bars

Like a hardened criminal

I try to stay positive

but the blood stays cynical

Symbiotic with my need to destroy

Is the molting of a teenage boy

Into half man, half beast

Trudging on for a feast not of food

Or hard drink

But love

The kind that makes you think

Why we ever stopped caring for each other

And when

Did social media ever become socially accepted

When did pressing a button

Ever mean the same as a literal kiss

I would be remiss if I said this was good

And though I have seemed to miss

The want from a girl

I am still a patient observer, my time will come

The best chase is that of a mind chastened

My demons run, angels flee to protect

And in time the negatives will be undone

Lofty are my dreams

Descending from a rejected heart

Because I know there is more to give

Than a half-reluctant spark

What Words Bring

I had to get rid of me

To find Me

The suicidal depressions

And disappointment brewed

From pornographic misconceptions

The boiling, bawling anger I couldn’t control

Tearing myself from the flesh I called home

Descending into the valley, alone

I couldn’t come out until I figured how

Embrace my unique in a cookie cutter world

Screaming and crying until my nose would bleed

I was lost, so lost, it would seem

But when I went to sleep, I prayed to the walls

Please help me, lead me to something better

Something bigger and brighter than me

Everything in my eyes is failing, and I fell

Into dreams I haven’t had before or since

Wash my hands clean of the past

And embrace the new Me, the one you read

I don’t know what my own voice sounds like

Drowning in a chorus of many voices

Some needs are prioritized over others

But I always come back to the poet in Me

For words give me peace

Neither life nor death can bring