What Words Bring

I had to get rid of me

To find Me

The suicidal depressions

And disappointment brewed

From pornographic misconceptions

The boiling, bawling anger I couldn’t control

Tearing myself from the flesh I called home

Descending into the valley, alone

I couldn’t come out until I figured how

Embrace my unique in a cookie cutter world

Screaming and crying until my nose would bleed

I was lost, so lost, it would seem

But when I went to sleep, I prayed to the walls

Please help me, lead me to something better

Something bigger and brighter than me

Everything in my eyes is failing, and I fell

Into dreams I haven’t had before or since

Wash my hands clean of the past

And embrace the new Me, the one you read

I don’t know what my own voice sounds like

Drowning in a chorus of many voices

Some needs are prioritized over others

But I always come back to the poet in Me

For words give me peace

Neither life nor death can bring

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Bored (Simply Writing About Autism)

I became bored

Simply writing about autism

I felt like every one else

Just going on about the downfalls

The misery, the mistakes

It shouldn’t be ignored

But it has its place

I call it An Aspergian’s Chemical Romance

Because I mix love with the acidic burn

Of a childhood gone to waste

The adoration of poetry and prose

Through writing, failing, and gaining age

Withstanding the onslaught of emotion

And fear of being lost without a cause

This place became my refuge and devotion

Another round of poetic potion

Soothing rough edges of a world gone awry

Each line, each time, I raise the white flag

A sign that no matter what they call me

I will always be happy with how I’m made

I stain your glorious day

With a discord and blight

So you may never forget in your riches

There are those killed by your might

I felt with each breath a great pain

Now gone, this desire to feign my name

Nobody Listens To Me

Why should I listen

Nobody listens to me

When I say I’m tired, pouring on the pain

Becomes involuntary

Like the assumption that I’m slower

Or not there at all

Because I’m so still, so quiet

Thinking, wondering, adding

Really, you should try it

But don’t ever ask how I’m feeling, no

They only see what is thought to be insolence

And I became the last one picked for anything

I become the last on their minds, if it all

I become the first to reply, and the first to fall

Somehow I thrive and relish it all

The agony of being the only one in the group

Without someone who you’re close to

Who understands you, who cares about you

What I would give for a perfect son like that

But what I wouldn’t would be a longer list

Because in the space of time I am missed

I refuel with the words of my ancestors

Fellow writers, and leaders that inspire

If anyone is listening to me, it is them

Through the pages of history I am restored

Vindication shall be mine, and more

Wanting, Waiting, Wilting

Radioactive

This bond we share

Burning drives

Yet close and bare

Our skin, heated and alive

Melting the gap between space and time

Always seething, I can’t get enough

Humans have companionship, but we have love

Brighter than the sun, colder than Titan

The moon only shows us one side

Because we scarred the other

Unlike any other, this fire consumes all

Forever together

Live and die, Rise and fall

Wanting, waiting, wilting

The love consumes the very best of us

We hate the bond we share

Because it’s human, and that’s never enough

Suicide Missions

I travel through the darkness
To find the orphan child
The ones who don’t know they’re alive
Zombies they might be, but I know
What they can be
I used to be dead, just doing enough to get by
Just doing whatever they told me
I wanted to get it done, so I rushed through it
I dreamt of a perfect imperfection
Imperfect practice molded perfect pretending
Until I decided I wasn’t going to ride the wave
But be the catalyst
Now I don’t write but am written
No longer just reading but being read
Not a lover but being loved
There is a solemn liberation in silence
You have to be okay with being secluded
But once you let the whispers guide you
And the night terrors heighten your tolerance
You can see everything you need to know
Now the shouting doesn’t scare me
And I can run into the burning buildings
Save the ones I was meant to support
I’m coming for you
And then
I’m coming home

Good Job, Humanity

crane20collapse
Who thought cranes were a good idea?
I mean, seriously
Putting one guy
On the top of a thin tower of metal
Taller than some buildings often times
To battle storms
Wind or rain
This isn’t progress, it’s lunacy
But hey, what about highways?
Oh yeah, it’s so cool that so many
Go over large bodies of water
And they’re made out of concrete
Suspended by ropes or wires
Yes, ropes or wires
I’m laughing so hard my stomach muscles
Just announced retirement
Speaking of that, how about football players
Since when did humans have thick skulls
To protect our brains from vicious collisions
Like rhinos or species of dinosaur
CTE just might rhyme with money
But increases in retirees does not

Words Cannot Express

The ticket to your love

Means falling down the road

Before boarding your train

I have to feel this pain

Wringing out my heart and soul

Until our children can drink it from oceans

Words cannot express the amount of hatred

I have in my heart

Not for you, no you’re perfect

Because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted

And nothing I’ve ever had

The slope from hatred to murder

Isn’t one at all, but rather skipping stones

The progression is simply ripples

In a lake teeming with discontent

Falling for you means lifting me on the cross

Live While You Can, Love While You’re Free

Fleeting is the fostering

Of children

When the love between two goes south

The funeral home is awaiting the toll

But your children hardly grow old

Only in fingers passed through rings

Or bars they’ve stood behind

Orange isn’t a color for everyone

So stop sending them away, please

Fate wouldn’t seem to mind

But the bridge to redemption

Is running out of time

Worldwide calamity dawned by professionals

(There’s a cat missing

His name is hobo

I’m not sure I’m too surprised anymore)

Downtowns crowded with the homeless

While the March for our lives is mocked

Why do they do it when nobody cares

Brewing for a fight, politicians use puppets

Breath and bones never comprehended

To my fellow youth, this is a one way street

So rise up, scream until the rocks cry out

Live while you can

Love

While you’re free

Wishing You A Happy Death Day

63 dreams for sale

Taking you east, and you can’t fail

Then do not enter

Waking up is no miracle

Only a frivolous curse

Come in, we’re open

Now where should we cut first

Grilling your everything, even what you’re not

You run around the earth, hoping it’ll stop

Highland is lowland for everyone not rich

Cut your schedules, shorten your days

Yet claim to appreciate, you little bitch

Community? Nobody thinks alike

And press hard enough, you’ll die

Art is a token of intelligence

But snorting condoms is a trend

So it’s no wonder we can’t ride or write

And hardly defend this country’s worth

You’ve heard it once, now hear it again

There’s nothing fabulous about ignorance

Don’t slam my instagram with your two cents

Kids die so the rich stay rich

Black people die cause they hate us anyway

Gays spawn laughs cause it’s 1949

Women, stay at home until you die

We’re so fucked up in every way

Sometimes I want someone

To wish us a happy death day

Remove Humanity, Remove Sin

Shuttle me to chapel street

Tackle my desire to trade in eternity

For bad decisions

Baltimore city drowns in ports of poor

Drinking but never quenched

Eating yet having room for more

The bank of nationwide luck is closed

But the bar stays open all the time

Take out on the corner for a dream

And I know she’s down to buy

But the tax on freedom is a little extra

And I’m on the wrong pay cycle

Knees Sam Bradford, can hardly stick around

There’s apartments galore

Yet few homes in this town

The church asks for money

The pastor asks for money

The stripper asks for money

The president asks for money

Is there no one who loves for who we are

And doesn’t attach a price tag to breath?

The perks of those Stars and Stripes

The cunning of Ford and Toyota

Death machines

Not in service, the marvel of America fails again

State law is just a bandaid

Remove humanity, remove the sin