Tag Archives: creative writing

The Love And Life Of Death

zerozero-2

The setting is a late May evening

and the sun is just beginning to wane

the grasses are as green as can be

the warm summer rays touch

skin darkened by the halls of recluses

and eyes drunk on the monotone beat

of a single heart

the horizon speaks to me

in ways no human could ever

color elicits emotion

only my darkest days would ever see

drooping sunset

with patch, see-through clouds

for skanky lingerie

calms me better than any

green eyed, freckled face

powered by an engine

stoked by fire of rejection

I reject the clown suit

appreciate the complexion

of life riding the fine line

life and death, I’ve seen both

lived and loved

both

I never knew

why the silence loved me so

treated me to knowledge

people seemed to refuse

I’m so hot

dirty mind, spinning you a web

of lust, lies

and forgotten faces

all in time

before the moon turns on her heel

and I fall into sleep

till our next divorce counseling meeting

 

Alone

a_northern_light_cover

Alone

this is where you wanted me

wild, untamed

and free

raw, uncut

to be true to myself

was the only must

the animal side of humanity

is only a breath away

when walking nude among the trees

is how we spend our days

call me out

to dine with you

among birds and beasts

we do ourselves

well into the shimmering light

under a blanket of warriors and twins

Venus kisses us goodnight

if home

is where the heart is

then the wild it is

until to death we are departed

 

Aspergers Will Always Be By Our Side

wamtac

I need more routine

and less surprise

I need more notebooks

to keep track of my thoughts as time flies

I need more honesty

and less romance

I need you to shut up

and let me listen to Dance, Dance

I’ve dug trenches you’ll never see

to keep all the abuse you have given me

I write until there’s nothing left to share

and the energy used to crowd please leaves me threadbare

Oh no

I won’t go

Aspergers will always be by our side

I only write to you

to help you take back the time

Oh no

I won’t go

Aspergers will always be by your side

I only write to you

to take control of the lies

Brothers and sisters

in self-depreciation

believing the myths spun by deceivers

for many generations

unsure of where to go

with nowhere to run

the world is just too loud

so to skulls some put guns

you are the human you choose

not what the world decides you are

in a world hellbent on being on conformity

I stand on a hill from afar

Oh no

I won’t go

Aspergers will always be by our side

I only write to you

to help you take back the time

Oh no

I won’t go

Aspergers will always be by your side

I only write to you

to take control of the lies

Silent Wave won’t go

Cocoons are comfy won’t go

neither will Beth

or the Cynical Reject

every autistic, every aspergian

shout we won’t go

because we are what we love

not who loves us

 

 

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Eighteen: What is Aspergers To Me?

WAMTAC

Aspergers

what is it to me?

A cancer

that only I can see?

A poison

drunk by the unborn soul at birth?

A dent, a scratch

that devalued my worth?

A bolt from a complete machine

that keeps me doomed

from reaching your sweet?

A scarlet mark on my chest

to serve as a marker

for scorn from the rest?

A road to suicide

because one spirit

cannot see a way out this mess?

I see it as all

and none

because I look not at what I was

but what I’ve become

I’m not what I’ve done

I’ve what I’ve overcome

A unique condition that challenges others

to accept what we give out sporadically

but challenges the autistic further

by forcing him or her

to accept what they are daily

See, others can chose to live us with us or not

but we must live with ourselves day after day

you can put on any mask and don any cape

try as we may, there is no other way

real autism doesn’t ask for money

because all the riches in the world

couldn’t buy us an once of normality

real autism only asks for your ears

that you listen to our wishes and fears

what we love and what we hate

why a pattern we are quick to replicate

and in time our words imprint on you something no

Benjamin could ever replace

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Sixteen: Crying On The Couch Because Aspergers Holds Me Back

WAMTAC

Head throbbing

stories in my head keep reoccurring

waking up is always a struggle

because life is a tussle

between anxiety and responsibility

desire and mental makeup

consistency and wish for a shake up

family, coworkers, strangers

they’re all the same

they don’t see the wave, they don’t know the pain

but they never could

and I don’t wish they would

the wave is silent, and it swallows

the water is deep, and I wallow

“drowning the tears of this Aspergian rain”

I once said, and say again

the silence drives me insane

past people I love, towards people I hate

past things I’d never emulate, yet do everyday

white as the winter, black as the summer

I stand out among the crowd

hoping not to be seen

keeping low, not to make a sound

narrow as her waist, straight as her hair

I’m to anxious to join you

and I won’t go anywhere

the jet black crow mocks my days

and I hurl stones at him

get out of my way

but I am the crow

you are the stone

I tell myself I’m okay

into your hands I play

only to be cast aside at the light of day

through self-depreciation

I raise you up

and I lower the white flag

at your approval

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Fifteen: My Anxiety Electrocutes Me In Ways Most Doctors Can’t Explain

nano

When aspergians talk about their anxiety, it goes FAR beyond the general “oh yeah, I feel anxious”. There’s anxious, like when you have to present a proposal in front of a board, and then there’s the autistic anxious. It is a deeper, more emotionally affecting happening. My anxiety isn’t just a tightness I get in my stomach, like after eating something from a bad take out place. No, it actually hurts. And mine doesn’t just hurt, it burns. It sounds crazy, but it’s unlike any sensation I ever have (and probably ever will) experience. It’s why I try so hard to avoid things that make me anxious, because nobody likes to get shocked, right? If YOU are on the spectrum, I want you to tell me in the comments below what your anxiety feels like.

 

Dark clouds

fill a silent soul

a light rain

keeps sight close

and the heart beats

to the tune it’s always known

no difference

no change

just the same thing again

and again

others pester

my life seems so bland

why my own family

says I’m not fun to be around

I have no friends

I have no social life

I have nothing but words

from the deepest night

and then I hear the sound

an electrical hum down my back

faster than copper wheels

on a railway track

it makes me fall back

my voice flat

once again,

I’ve fallen into the trap

and I’m almost home

but don’t wake me up

this is the safest place

I’ve ever known

 

What Only Soul Mates Can Hear

abc

 Neon lights

line my trip home

passing by dimly lit homes

with my head, alone

in silent wonder

at how one word

can tear a life asunder

ripping hearts out

at the seams

and replacing them

with incredible dreams

never cultivated, never imagined

but fulfilling every wish ever fathomed

as I write, looking at the stars

just passing by

I think of you, sparking somewhere far away

with swooping motions you draw me a picture

and at first, I don’t understand

but with a soft voice, she takes my hand

and pulls me close to her beating heart

suddenly, I see it

I see it all

and I love it

these stars have been aligning

for years

and with the sun no longer shining

I can see it clearly

with silent words

that only soul mates can hear

I plant a soft kiss on each cheek

and put the sword to each of our fears

 

Dial Tones Of A Car Crashed Heart

www. magic 4 walls. (with com (in love with a ghost

Silent calls

from a treeless hill

on a wind-less night

echo through the deep valleys

and careen down the mountain sides

the voice is weak

repelled by opposing sound waves

and the strength of one’s beliefs

but the heartbeat is strong

fighting both sun and moon

to reach the nest of its destined lover

a voice has an end

but the heart will descend

to below the Marina trench

and higher than any comet

to join two in love

you cannot stop it

Tonight, unlike most nights

I’m really listening

if I could hear

for mere moments

then this heart

could be made unbroken

by the wings of my fellow soul

my lover

she’s out there

there’s too many for there not to be

maybe she’s writing too

or coming through

on the dial tone

of this car crashed heart

 

Just Bring My Anna Back

a_northern_light_cover

You were riveted in delicious greed

to see her pale green eyes look your way

but quaking when another caught her sight

I was shorter, fatter

and much less attractive

but we fought the same fight

so she floated past you

and took my hand

our veins overdosed on the same light

anger overtook feeble continuity

and shattered your glass

while the other gents, at your immaturity, gave a hearty laugh

eight months later, I gave my heart

she gave her hand

and into the unknown we ran

but you never gave up

never gave up the taste

and someone else’s love you decided to chase

one night

dreams full of doubt

the flame went out

she did nothing to you

and is nothing for you

but your courage is weak

and intelligence you lack

snow on the tracks

and blood on the path

just please bring

my Anna back

 

Panic Above The Rushing Waters

wamtac

 

There’s a cold chill in the air

and not a voice in the streets

beside me, the pillows on the floor

and tears in the sheets

I don’t know what I did

or what I said

that made you cry like this

and so the troubles bled

from a wounded soul

and the hole, I couldn’t close

Choking on something brooding

dangerously close to suicidal woes

I remember you clutching my face

in a panic at the theater

you were always leaving and coming from this place

why couldn’t I see her?

Between panic and rage

you cried enough for ten lives

and barely twenty

it was like someone your age

but for reasons unspecified

you had chosen to no longer live

and with the river rushing below

you chose instead to die