Tag Archives: courage

The Arrogance I Shine

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bent and broken

my face the token

of your socialite policy

fears and flames awoken

by the silent shaming

of ears pricked up

hairs peeled back

when I make a statement

misinterpret a joke

the costume falls flat

and now I’m forced to reconcile

into the life and love I never had

it was plain to see

but it took them to crucify my heart

betrayed by a suicidal mind

to see the reality

I had ignored for so much time

they don’t care for me

they’re not the friends for me

don’t understand me

can’t reprimand me

because I do the same thing

everyday

because I don’t care about a thing

everyday

while you sit around waiting for me to change

oh hey

I’m insane

the arrogance I shine

tans you like an ultraviolet ray

I don’t think about what I say

because I really was born this way

I take no for an answer

because I’ll say yes to myself

I dish it because I can take it

look at the hand the devil’s dealt

feel the welts

no, they’re on the inside

feel the shockwaves

they flow every time

you start speaking

I start leaking

every ounce of content

until I’m bursting with anger

and all darkness

ceases with one final dagger

to the soul

now silent again

 

Autism Awareness Month Post Twenty-One: I Do It For My Family, My Autistic Family

wamtac

Each day I come in

and don my white apron

smile, and polite greetings

I step to the demons

and grit my broken teeth

leave them seething

each day I make change

empty powder-covered trays

and laugh at Mary’s favorite team

and their horrible receivers

I step to the establishment

and stab them in the face

out of shy autistics I make believers

every tip received

and check cashed

shows them how far I’ve come

I’ve aged pretty fast

not in years, really

but in confidence

in determination

and in courage

I don’t carry a chip on these shoulders

I carry the dead of Mount Everest

and quiet should your expectations stay

lest you trigger my sensitivity

and cause me to uncloak

the dreaded focus and commitment

that the profession continues to revoke

I work for my family

my autistic family

the ones with moths on their web pages

and female warriors, too

“Aspergian’s can’t work in customer service”

if only you knew

that I do it

to prove you wrong

I dance to the beat of my hand-flapping

foot-tapping

tell-tale autistic drum

and marching in the opposite direction

eventually gets you noticed

and soon others are eager

to sing along