gee fuck, I actually liked you somehow, my brain turned on I made jokes, I smiled when you do I touched your hand, my nerves rang mad something inside me flipped on I got to kiss you, kissing you daily we made out in a thunderstorm I was so mad with fever I never once […]
Tag: anxiety
Totally (Not) Fine
the monotonous hum of mechanical fan cold air pricks bare skin illuminated by the grace of sunlight spiderling revealing, disease prohibiting sunlight there’s a cobweb to my right an old friend drops in to say hello only seven legs, unfortunately , and I wonder how he chooses to press on marvelous I take to the […]
Sweating
humidity gorges on the anxiety muscles lunge for the nearest bottle water, ice cold she reaches too, so bold now I’m frozen stiff it’s okay, she’ll leave just the others racing past as roadrunner in the desert I’m hot, I’m cold, I’m laughed at, I’m bold I see the future but dive deep in the […]
Her Fever Dream
eyes close flutter open in a wicked craze then close I am tired of living and why should I love again it is sent but not returned written and spoken but never kept inside lost in translation, there is no confirmation miserable silence and I wonder if I’m wasting my breath on someone who’s blind […]
Stop Putting Out, Give Out
When I stop putting out Will you stop coming back home My body’s more than a tunnel to him But to you, I’m simply a plate You eat your fill, then discard what you hate I hold my weight in my hands, am I ugly He adores my body, each shallow, every curve You hold […]
If It Were
if it were physical I’d cut you off if it were mental I’d forget to remember you but I think this connection sees deeper than the tide of sun or the unluckiest tempest of the sea and though we’ve disagreed in levels of silence, decadent ignorance unpalatable by most conscious beings each time we found […]
Falling Short
Sweat on my back attracts Biting bugs, lying amongst the thistles They sense I’m alive? Somebody knows something I don’t Or didn’t Cutting only bleeds you of temporary pain But there’s nothing to ease The immortal struggle Of being seen and yet unseen Loved yet wholly misunderstood Shouldn’t they know who I am? Should I? […]
Don’t Call Me
Don’t call me strong; cracked glass eyes Shatter into a stream of blood Tears fill the creek where we swam There was a time long ago, before the shade And shallow, I’d listen to you talk Glide on the tips of maple The water, the water, always more crystal Tomorrow Love echoed through the trees […]
Loathing
They say I don’t have many friends Because I’m weird Too odd to be included with us And though outsiders hardly put up a fuss To find out the source of grotesque hate Every time someone tries to stand for truth They’re shoved a heaping pile of revenge And told to eat hastily from a […]
Lacking
I’ve never smiled, like ever Somehow, I just seem to be under the weather Bad mood, got a taste for crappy food Wings and fries to drown the lies Batter the truth, my lease on love is grease I toss out in the trash I’ve felt friendly, but the good vibes don’t last Somebody finds […]
Musings Of An Autistic Mind 