Pretending To Pretend To Care What You Think


I haven’t written about aspergers
in a few
maybe I’m tired
of saying it
writing it
reading about it
pretending to pretend
I care what people think about it
and me
I tear labels off
and cast in the trash
just like in reality
they’re made of plastic
never to truly last
I don’t need to write it
for you to know I have it
and don’t tell me
I’m a warrior
something special
or wonderful
I cheat on myself everyday
and inflict deep wounds
far wider than anything
ever pictured on the moon
I’m a terrible
terribly shy
yet no longer friendless
poetically inspired
and forever addicted
someone who can’t say hi
but has followers
in the thousands
depressed at times
beyond measure
yet able to wake
from the crushing pressure
of the sea
just in time to make you think
I’m one of you
what a catch



Her Smile Makes Life Worth Living


smile that lasts
for hours
after the sun goes down
you can see it
through the reflection in the window
even the moon
takes a step back
in her presence
nothing romantic about us two, though
she’s just a friend to you
you’ll never be in love
but that’s fine
because she’ll change your life
without a kiss
or even much of a flirt
I knew it all along
and am simply happy to relish
in her happiness
for the length of her smile
makes living this life
just a little bit more


Dimple Verse Response Post (happy birthday to an amazing poet)


(I know it’s past, but I just want to say happy birthday again to my favorite twitter poetry prompt hostess)

Walk along the shore

she’s holding my hand

every step of the way

the sun’s just barely risen

waves are calmer than usual

and sands part at out feet

the sea is in her eyes

so blue, so vast

and I look into her

and say

you are

my memory garden

things I’ve kept inside for years

bloomed in harmony with you

unedited love

the world saw as weeds

you see dandelions

bitter, but beautiful

because they’re part

of what makes me alive

unseen layers of each other

are broken when we’re together

our loving is never rough

but sweeter every time

my veins burst with excitement

and arteries swell and erupt

when you dance nude to

the song of myself

on the streets of my heart

an eternal yearning

for a sea of joy

is brought to me

every time I look up into your eyes

every night is different

but somehow you’re the same

I’ll tell you more

when you read me tomorrow, again

then stooping by the sea

I pulled a daisy from my ear

she’d always put them there

and I gave my love again

live perpetually, Cassie

live on


My Fingers Climb The Ladder Of Your Vertebrae


beads of sweat
roll down bare arms
wrapped around
a sun burnt neck
taste the rays of summer
planted on lip locked mouths
and fingers climbing the ladder
of vertebrae
they can stare
into the abyss of bodies
mingled in the heat
of desire
where heads drown happily
in a sea of white foam
rising up and down
on invisible waves of
my body
the key
this place isn’t
one size fits all
the glory hole
is for one only
and I’m taking applications
starting today

Sunny Days Brought Her No Joy


Sunny days brought her no joy
no content
no peace
siblings poked fun
while parents attempts
to caress a once sweet
now rotting soul
were never manifested
in the sudden appearance
of crimson spots
on bright pink sheets
the shrugging of shoulders
at the suggestion of help
masked the stench of death
she was dying, fast
demons sought housing
in the complexes of angels
themselves afraid of the slope
she was cascading down
a runaway train
painted in fine glory
yet lacking command
by anyone
or anything
so the ceiling fan was broken
Dad will replace it
but why
couldn’t give her a dime
was giving a child
lit firecrackers
she wanted to go
they were calling her home
and they pulled
with gale force winds
caught in a storm of belief
twisted romance
and a thirst for cleansing
there was only one thing
she ever wanted to do
standing in front
of a bedroom mirror
she put her hand
on her heart
with a smile
rarely seen since youth
she cut it loose
life gushing
life crying out
as the scent
carried around the room
a stitch away from making it
fate served up
medical malpractice
and I don’t even know why
I wrote this down


Tears Mixed With Acid Will Keep Me From Seeing The Sin


Serious bumping
underneath my chin
with a busted electric razor to boot
it feels weird
and worse than it looks
I should’ve washed it out
the song I’m listening to
describes my usual mood
near perfectly
I Don’t Care
call it nonchalant
call it asshole
hell, call it stupid
whatever adjective you’d like
is fine with me
just got off work
it’s payweek once again
can’t believe I’ve been here
three months already
didn’t expect to last
three minutes
mercy upon me
and more upon those
of Orlando
Middle East
I hate where this country is going
and not because of the man in charge
but the ignorance of many
overwhelming the silence
of the few
so I let the waters rush over me
then hotter
maybe the tears mixed with acid
will keep me from seeing
the sin

I’m Not Worth Your Glory



Slide down my back
taste the blood in my mouth
pacify a dying soul
and skim over words
that tell you everything
you never knew
I’m a man left alone
with nothing to keep me
but this burning heart
left out to dry
innermost thoughts kept quiet
until her black hair interrupts my air
and waters of happiness
flow again
yellow rays kiss my face
so downtrodden
final destination, your heart
but I was afraid of the journey
so I stayed on the bus
secretly hoping you’d find another
to satisfy our needs
I travel by fading starlight
in an ever shrinking dream
until all that is left
is the essence of love
promise me you’ll forget
I’m not worth
your glory

June Falls (Leaves Me With Mixed Emotions)


With every breath
I throw a blanket over
the lightning within
star crossed hearts with words I’ve written
hedonistic but honest
as I throw back
scattered memories
a garden of sound
with rose gold flashes
reminds me of what I could have had
the madness inside her
midnight moonstone
shining through the golden black night
tears clear as a butterfly chrysalism
purple reigns over her eyelashes
and I hand her tissue paper
the city colors our life
while sinners love bombed our sanity
by heartbeats and honeysuckle
we loved till the morning light
in empty rooms
we spilled our contents shameless
until our nostrils just peaked
from a sea of dreams
our bodies were an explosion
of light
dovetails and daydreams
we fluttered on the magic of nearness
to one another
kilig transferred through electric connection
harmonic transmission of fantasy
inserted into every fiber of being
black pearls
and rainbow tears
rested on your neck
and my eyes
making two souls into one
and not even death can separate us
unleash the beast inside this bottle
to destroy your platinum crown
bring you down
and lift you back up
a seed on the winds of choice
we are slaves to the music
the shadow kissed
so we dance to the darkness
until we break the ties that bind
Sarah, won’t you smile
and bring us together


You’re Nothing But A Line In A Poem


Eighteen years have nearly gone by
and nothing’s really changed
just random faces in and out my life
but I can’t get anyone to stay
not for long
sure, I can hold on for a few days
maybe a month if I’m lucky
but who’s to fill a hole
that’s become my fundamental flaw
the moon is my guide
and I follow in its lies
pretending to be a safe sanctuary of progress
when it’s really all lies
boil my heart down
eat my brains raw
I’m too new at this game
no agent is ever going to call
but I can pretend, says the devil
that strokes my hair
and kisses my neck in the morning
waking me up to new possibilities
new windows
why do I lie
why do you believe me
you’re nothing but a line in a poem
and I’m just a figment
in my imagination of us
madly dashing out the house
comets shooting through the sky
blue and purple, they calm me down
but I wish I had your hand to hold tonight
and make the bad memories go away

Boycott Love And Embrace The Detox


Boycott love

boycott this god damned

relationship shattering

lust fulfilling

and ironically short lived


just fall for a good friend

someone who understands

your sins, your hates

and your ticklish spots

a person who makes you run

deeply tiring

but equally satisfactory

a hard day’s work

plowing an open field

too caught up on the outside

cups and waist will pass away

but the beauty

or lack

on the inside

cannot be aged


or changed with the insertion

of plastic

it’s quite fantastic what you learn

when you accept one for who they are

and not spurn them

simply because they don’t maintain a standard

or complete the one

you picture in your mind

fall for someone who isn’t attractive

and refuses to wear Hollister

on the account of being too wide

love them for their honesty


or ability to quote chapters of books

at random

what I’m trying to say is

love people for people

not the person you wish they’d be

or what they wish to be

love them for who they are

no matter where they’ve come

or where they’re going

love people

because they’re human

and guess what

you are too

boycott love

and be proud of the detox

you might just be surprised

at the new life you’ve been granted