Poetry with Devereaux Fraizer “I don’t mourn the dead bodies”

Thanks for sharing my work, Tanya 🙂
To my followers, please go check out more of her work. I really enjoy the other stories she posts.

TANYA TALES

Hey Hi my lovelies! My name is Tanya Hooper and I post on this blog every Friday at 7pm … well, I usually post on this blog every Friday at 7pm but unfortunately this post is late. I have recently begun university and with all the craziness surrounding starting a new chapter in my life I may have forgotten to upload this amazing poem by the very talented Devereaux Fraizer. If you haven’t already do be sure to head across to his blog and check it out because if you are anything like me you will absolutely adore him. So share your love with him by sharing liking and commenting on this post and without further ado I am so very honoured to introduce this amazing poem to you …

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I don’t mourn the dead bodies

but the emotions

last forever

haunting memory until we submit

to inevitable will

she…

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Sometime Long Ago

sometime long ago

when the house was always hot

and I’d stare out the windows 

to taste the tip of a glorious breeze

or when the winter snows came

and I’d bury my head underneath comforters

and watch Jamaal Charles highlight videos

sometime long ago

when I was skinny, reckless, and angry

and I’d stare at the plaster pour

from the walls I’d beat senseless

until I was sure they felt as much pain as I

or when I had ignored my anxious tendencies

and my parents scolded me for something I couldn’t control

when I cried until my nose ran red

and I was sure I had a pussy instead of a penis

sometime long ago

when I refused to go out

I’d miss god, family, and the restoration of Jerusalem

if it meant I didn’t have to show my face

mu ugly, zitty, scar-ridden face

or when people would talk to me

and I’d just look away

hoping, praying, that if I ignored them enough

they would go away

sometime long ago

when I didn’t know who you were

and I’d spend my nights looking at women

I never should have known

I was like, six, and I just didn’t know

it’s okay to look at pretty women, right world?

I’m 18 and now I see

the pain of my past will always live with me

watching my father leave

friends leave

my world is always collapsing

 

now I realize

that sometime long ago

can be just that

if you close your eyes

let the scars burn

the blood dissolve

eventually the cocoon falls off

and what’s left is the most beautiful

butterfly anyone’s ever saw

 

 

 

 

Telescopic Nod Into My Mind

darkness falls over me

as I write away the day

the poet inside grows louder

don’t mock the God’s with your success

likes and views will fail before heaven

write about how I’ve strayed

and the women I’ve watched before midnight

blackness calms the raging nerves

still anxious from the day’s work

the temptation to stray away from these words is great

but short on worth

words circle my head like vultures

above the dead

I am the dead

I am dead

and the words are what make me

rhymes and lines are the only magic of my life

everything else facade and fabrication

autistic misrepresentation and African American limitation

the words you read of mine

are the telescopic nod into my mind

but I don’t always write the truth

shame from the youth

hides me from you

you think you’re ready

but if only you knew

I write about the pain here and there

but the scars don’t go anywhere

I pick at the wounds this moment now

crimson lines drip from the brow

and onto the page which I lay my heart

these poems are my life

but they tear it apart

Liebster Award: You’ve Been Nominated! (Thanks ThatGirl4Ever)

Thanks to ThatGirl4Ever for nominating me for the Liebster Award. She posted Award Nomination on the 17th of this month, but I just saw it yesterday night. (I get anxious even online, and often overlook things) She’s a great teen blogger with fun and interesting posts. You would be doing it wrong if you didn’t go check her out.

Ten random facts about me:

1. Never been out the country
2. Man crush on Travis Kelce (I mean, come on….)

3. (You all know I love Kate Upton and Kara Delevingne, but also…)

(one of the few PG-13 pics of my future ex-wife)

4. I’m afraid of heights

5. I eat Kiwi’s whole (skin and everything)

6. Also afraid of: large bodies of water

7. I didn’t know who Guy Fieri was until four months ago

8. Never eaten crab

9. I can’t sing

10. Once booted off Black Ops 3 for killing one guy too many times

Now, to answering her questions

What are you afraid of?

Girls. And centipedes.

What’s your fav. genre for movies?

Action. Anything with Jennifer Lawrence.

The tv show you regret watching?

American Dad. Because I watch at least five episodes every night.

What’s your top life goal?

Leaving as many people with the truth as I can. Especially about autism. And the reality behind politics.

What’s your fav. book of all time? (any language)

A Northern Light (tied with The Jungle) 

What are your most common top six lies?

I’m normal. I don’t want to get married. I’m okay. Tell me more. Writing is hard. Barack Obama was a decent president.

What would you use your one wish on?

Humanity. Stop killing one another.

What’s the first thing that attracts you to a person? 

If it’s a girl? The eyes. Smiles are close, though. (I usually say whatever’s inside their shirts but I’m really trying to tone down my horndog traits.)

 

Nominees:

Pretty Kool Dame

DarkFairyJournals

Broken Blue Sky

WenieGirl

Ana P Rose

King Ben’s Grandma

Brink Brink Break

Keely The Cynical Reject

Locked Up Memory (Content Warning)

take out your wrist

no, all the way

stick me with all your pain

your depression, anxiety, and marital struggles

drown me in the empty bottles

suck me off to make it all go away

it’s okay, I’ll just sit and take it

look at the window, there goes my summer

fall, winter, and spring

you wake up fresh and clean

while I hide under filthy sheets

I can’t let my friends see

the disaster that’s become me

you’ll never let me be

jacking off to your insanity

I plead the fifth while you corrupt me

it’s been obvious to them

but I can’t see

through the semen spewing at me

and the empty glances that demand another dance

pouring out my heart

at the feet of your fables

I look normal but I’m developmentally disabled

cause I’m just not able

to tell you that I don’t care

I just stare at your ugly teeth

fake hair

cover those fake tits I see those purple veins

call me deranged

but I when I feel a certain kind of way

when I think of the light

closing in on these inglorious days

I think of how I was raised

so I take the leftover lemonade

and stuff it in my heart

people who love me can’t even see it today

I save it when I need a reprieve

from all the pain

 

 

The Cold World (Outside America)

cold world

we live in a cold world

rising temperatures have the oceans

whipping up super storms

destroying lives, stealing homes

and we scream catastrophe

yet we murder those

before they’re even born

and we scream humanity

because it’s progress giving women power

to pick and choose who to kill

we’re America and yet we behave like savages

it’s a bitter pill, seeing the death at record rates

far from a thrill is the torrid pace

we’re racing towards war, China, Japan

and North Korea

but good forbid your last name is Lee

hate to be ya, wouldn’t wanna see ya

when the blood starts raining

I won’t tell who’s black, white, or green

when the nukes start dropping

how many will think it’s another Hollywood dream

there is no green screen

that’ll protect you from the fall

so I learn and grow while I have the chance

before the shit hits the fan

with very foul word

and every legalized murder

with every ignored crime

like telling people GMO’s are fine

when our corn is recognized worldwide

as a pesticide

with every child sold into slavery

and every liberal who gets upset

cause Trump called Hillary a nasty lady

with every Chinese worker who commits suicide

to make your iphone, don’t ask why, it’s too late

when the government tells you

that men and women are all the same

and there’s no such thing as aliens

our clocks are ticking

and we’re too stupid to ask why

So I’ll ask you now

what are you doing with this time

 

 

 

 

 

That Was You, America

I felt something die

again today

my eyes at the unforgiving

nature of humanity

beating and burying

who don’t agree

my ears at the screams

of the living dead

we see them everyday

but who knows

until ends

my heart at the catastrophe

raging over every part

of our world

when will we look up

and realize peace has been staring at us

all the time

tears flow like the blood

of Israeli children

may the bombs one day cease

sadness stings like knives

cutting through flesh

may the mutilation of multitudes of muslim women end

I felt something  die

and that was you,

America

Trapped In A Cage Of My Own Making

 

no words are said

but you know what I’ve done

I could try to hide, try to run

but I’d be wasting our time

I might as well confess

then at the crest of the truth

I sink down and swallow

Another green lie

Another blue deception

I’m falling for you out of desperation

the water swirls around my mouth

the disco turns silent now

and the chorus of discord

rings in my head so loud

confusing

contradicting

I am animal

trapped in the cage of my own making

Your Pain Can Now Begin

I don’t mourn the dead bodies

but the emotions

last forever

haunting memory until we submit

to inevitable will

she always pushed me

in the right direction

even when I was wrong

she took me back

sometimes I messed up

and we both laughed

until I pushed her beyond the lights

and onto the tracks

I left before the inevitable crash

walking slowly all the way

the night become day

in a shell of my former self

did your love now lay

I fondled and groped

the murderer of your hope

I slid into her faster

than the rusty metal over your throat

there was another besides you

and we couldn’t let you in

so now after death

does your pain truly begin

This Is For The Aspies

 

(As of now, this is my favorite poem I’ve EVER written)

This is for the aspies

Locked way in their rooms

Drawing, writing, reading, singing

Trying to fight off the anxious meltdown

Sure to come soon

This is for the aspies

That couldn’t get homeschooled

And had to suffer in public school

I cant imagine what that was like

And if you got through, thank you, but it’s not right

This is for the aspies

Who wear the same outfit everyday

And flap their hands when excited

I see the stutters, stares, and stumbles

And I love it

Because this is for the aspies

That don’t get the recognition they deserve

I’ve seen the hands and heard the tongues that produce beautiful words

Works of science, art, and math

Or maybe something simple like just making their own path

This is for the aspies

You never see, but always find

Too anxious, too shy to notice the time

They’re there, but won’t trust

Their own voice

This is for the aspies

The ones that can’t find love

Or don’t know what to do with it

You’re amazing no matter what they say

No matter

This is for the aspies

I’m crying for you, I love hearing you

Because my own home is yours

Connected and tired of the correction

Your home is mine

This is for the aspies

Broken but not without fight

Or riding free, with everything going right

This is gospel for us all

Don’t let the outside take our life