Ask The Daughters

Paint a picture on the wall

Watch them defile it with lustful thoughts

Traces of their bodies stain the masterpiece

Let the justice system clean up the parts

Parents fail to put her back together again

Needles and bible thumpers push her down

The streets catch her when she’s already gone

Ugly men with shallow souls hold up a camera

She throws it back, they get a good laugh

She’s a mere spectre of what she used to be

Her soul chained to the railway tracks

Every home has an open door for her

But what is home without love

Every outreach center reaches inwardly

Another poster girl for their selfish causes

Who cares about her trivialities? Her pain?

Who’s to tell her she can be beautiful again?

Broken systems born from shallow men

Turn these women to the streets again

But don’t ask us

Ask the blood on the sidewalk

And the daughters without names

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By Nature

Downtrodden grass marks the path

Of a man who’s walked too often

To the corner of the street

And back

Afraid to push past his limitations

Unaware that he even can

The shingles are loose, the mailbox

Long emptied of past due subscriptions

Nobody cares that he’s hanging

By the thinnest of threads

A brown recluse by nature

The world strung him up and asked

Be an orb weaver, or we’ll weave you

A single life with unemployment checks

And student loans beyond reconcile

The world asks us to spin webs

Out of their shortsighted shit

And if we fail, we’re deemed less than

Broken

And beyond any sort of humanitarian repair

FINALLY: PUBLISHED

Z Publishing House recently released the Maryland, Carolinas, and Virginia edition of their Americas Emerging Poets of 2018 series, and I WAS PUBLISHED IN IT!

It’s truly been an incredible journey, and one full of disappointments and thoughts I might not ever reach this goal. Since I started writing at the age of 13, I hoped to have my words in a book. Through my own personal blog that I’ve run for nearly three years, countless writers groups, endless books, and hundreds of poems (many of which were terrible), I’ve discovered and re-discovered a part of me that I never knew I had. Now i never knew how I lived without it. For those that follow me on here, Instagram, and other venues that have published my words (SpillWords, Teen Ink, Blood Into Ink, Go Dog Go Cafe, and many others), thank you for always supporting me and encouraging me to keep writing. Even when it was hard, even when I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. If you don’t mind taking a look, and maybe even buying, I would greatly appreciate it!

Free From My Mind

It’s nighttime here, but I can still hear

The echoes of my long lost lover

I’ve dreamt of her more lately

Thinking of her breaks my heart daily

And each sun-kissed shoulder is a reminder

Of the magnitude in my failing

I never thought I could fall so hard, so far

Because that was five years ago

And I still haven’t hit the bottom

We live in the same town, but I haven’t tasted

The sweetness I felt on my tongue

When she spoke

The happiness inside

Could hardly be contained

But now the memory is trapped

In picture frames I create

Little trinkets kept in my mental pocket

For good luck, and in good hope that I

Will see her again

Even touching her shadow

Would ease my pain enough to say enough

And let her be free

From my mind

He Had Visitors

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Why do you want me to be

Unhappy

Why do you want me to be

Enslaved

I feel your thumbs round the insides of my cheeks

And tap the tip of the tongue

Your spit cascades into my nostrils

And wells up in my gums

I will not swallow, I cannot speak

Beneath me, my muscles shrivel up and are weak

With fury, tempests, and all the while

Consolation

With eyelids stuck shut, conceding inevitable defeat

With palms wide open, conceding inevitable defeat

With arms tied behind my back, conceding inevitable defeat

I understand now why you’re driven away

Anything this toxic, this chemical romance

Between the thought of love

And the actual action

Between the nape of my neck

And the pool of semen that reminds me

He’s finally finished with me

Wiping my mouth, still dripping from his hands

He snares another girl by the ponytail

Punches her, knocking her out cold

Then dabs his index finger in the blood

Presses it to my lips

And tells me to dance

He had visitors

I’ll Never Wonder Why

There’s never a time when I wonder
Why I became friends with you
Sure, we didn’t like each other at first
But that’s kinda the point
I don’t like everyone I meet immediately
Although I know immediately if I’d like you
Or not
And I always felt we’d come around
It took time, but any real friendship does
It took patience, but any relationship does
It took letting someone into my life
Which I rarely ever do, and that took time
So much has been stolen out of me
And so much was beaten out of me
The fact I’m even half as kind as I am
Is almost shocking
He tried to make me the monster he became
But he only finished half the job
By night I’m focused, conscious, and wordy
By day I’m focused on wandering and limiting
The words I use because after so many
The hate, the blood, and the broken comes
And there’s only so much I can swallow
Before I have to spit you back out
I’m as two-faced as anyone can be
Kind but a killer if you get too close, or too far
Sympathetic until I run out of road to run on
Honest, unless I feel you’re not ready
For my truth
Somehow you didn’t mind my differences
Correction, don’t
Because we’re still friends
And I’m glad
I guess not being around limits what you see
What’s not shown can’t be held against me
You’ll eventually figure out, and like most
You’ll try to leave before you see too much
But I hate hurting people I love
So you’ll find my bed empty
Before your heart does
 
I love, but can’t myself connect
I live, but can’t myself deflect
The past life

Man In The Mirror

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I knew my past

Would haunt me in the future

When I took a long look in the mirror

I saw someone neither dead nor alive

Simply hovering, at best, over a plane not yet understood

Both the angels and demons tugged at his soul for ownership

But he budged not

Quietly contemplating the oddities of his existence

And the realm of stupidity in the insistence

To choose the middle ground, and not one side

Or the other

For in offering up his self, he would gain the next world

And in offering up the next world, he would forever claim the present

For the wise, there is no such thing as an easy decision

But for me, I made it long ago

I don’t have faith in the present or future

I don’t have faith in people or gods

I only know that the sun will come up

And the moon will go down

I only know that people will love and fuck

And hate and murder and consecrate images

Of men they neither love nor respect

Yet perpetually emulate

I only know that the Earth will exist but for so long

Until our damage cannot be ignored any more

I only know about tomorrow

And that’s why I chose to stay

Today