Category Archives: Aspergers

Wholeheartedly Heart Broken

wamtac

light abandons
hope endlessly wavers
a sea of hands
envelopes twisting veins
arteries transport revenge
and regret
mystifies the soul
traveling into a shallow pool
serpents and servants
free to please
latch on like a leach
transmit disease
dissapear like black cats
on Halloween
and how did Eve
listen to the winds
crying descent
I am wholeheartedly
broken hearted
not only bent
and broken
never to love
with her rejection
continuously spoken

Silence Heals My Insane

wamtac

There’s a silence

That heals the insane

The wild, racing part of me

Never kept in check

By a voracious heartbeat

Dying to love you more

But hiding it all in life

Manic meltdowns

Leading to tear soaked pages

And curses uttered

From bottomless agony

Never meant to harm

But to release me

From the grapple of

The darkness

I still somehow

Can’t escape

 

The Arrogance I Shine

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bent and broken

my face the token

of your socialite policy

fears and flames awoken

by the silent shaming

of ears pricked up

hairs peeled back

when I make a statement

misinterpret a joke

the costume falls flat

and now I’m forced to reconcile

into the life and love I never had

it was plain to see

but it took them to crucify my heart

betrayed by a suicidal mind

to see the reality

I had ignored for so much time

they don’t care for me

they’re not the friends for me

don’t understand me

can’t reprimand me

because I do the same thing

everyday

because I don’t care about a thing

everyday

while you sit around waiting for me to change

oh hey

I’m insane

the arrogance I shine

tans you like an ultraviolet ray

I don’t think about what I say

because I really was born this way

I take no for an answer

because I’ll say yes to myself

I dish it because I can take it

look at the hand the devil’s dealt

feel the welts

no, they’re on the inside

feel the shockwaves

they flow every time

you start speaking

I start leaking

every ounce of content

until I’m bursting with anger

and all darkness

ceases with one final dagger

to the soul

now silent again

 

Child Born Of Tremor and Turmoil

 

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writing is my love

my life

the beginning and end

of an always speaking wife

we noticed one another

while drifting away from life

on the verge of exiting

she stole the knife

we courted on balconies

piers

and windows crept through

by cellphone light

we wed four years ago

happy as could be

believing us

is all we would ever need

marriage is not

without difficulty

for to unify two individuals

someone must be subverted

to keep the peace of another

so I remained silent

pregnant by another

far more ravenous insatiable lover

and when the night falls

I run to her

begging to be spared

and spare the world

of a child born of tremor

and turmoil

agony agony I cry

why do you leave me alone

to perish

Darkness Abides In All

WAMTAC

In the midst of an internal storm….

the untold stories
of darkness prevail
over widening seas
and Hell’s Deep can hardly contain
the fire of night
waking us up
and bringing us down
we may never know the wholeness of breath
or solitude of sound
for the darkness abides in all
will you let her come around
stoke up the magic within
and burn in and of her glory
let the Phoenix be called to arms
spit lava and pumice upon the world
for poets are the volcanoes
of humanity
and within the darkness we spew
life is born through trials
see the words rise
on the wings of the wind

Boycott Love And Embrace The Detox

wamtac

Boycott love

boycott this god damned

relationship shattering

lust fulfilling

and ironically short lived

love

just fall for a good friend

someone who understands

your sins, your hates

and your ticklish spots

a person who makes you run

deeply tiring

but equally satisfactory

a hard day’s work

plowing an open field

too caught up on the outside

cups and waist will pass away

but the beauty

or lack

on the inside

cannot be aged

shrunk

or changed with the insertion

of plastic

it’s quite fantastic what you learn

when you accept one for who they are

and not spurn them

simply because they don’t maintain a standard

or complete the one

you picture in your mind

fall for someone who isn’t attractive

and refuses to wear Hollister

on the account of being too wide

love them for their honesty

generosity

or ability to quote chapters of books

at random

what I’m trying to say is

love people for people

not the person you wish they’d be

or what they wish to be

love them for who they are

no matter where they’ve come

or where they’re going

love people

because they’re human

and guess what

you are too

boycott love

and be proud of the detox

you might just be surprised

at the new life you’ve been granted

 

Twisted Rhymes From A Twisted Mind

wamtac

Morning comes, and everyone is eager

quickly they rise out of bed

but I never want to

abused and refused by the words of those

who said they knew me best

face straddled by hips of a lonely, lovely silence

beautiful to the point of pain

writing down the words inspired by raucous love

has me going insane

I see her alone in the shower

on a quiet weekend morn

and I want do her all over again

with strength gained from heartache reborn

travel up her spine with fingers moving all the time

we both get so turned on by the games we play

on each other’s minds

tongues twisting in each other’s mouth

drowning ourselves in a sea of organized panic

swimming in depression derived so long ago

that the stench has genitals turning rancid

releasing anger pent up by years

beating, pounding

until she’s a bleeding ball of reckless waste

reduced to puddles of sweat and inches of blood

from my younger days

Oh, who am I kidding

it’s just me, no girl

she’s just made up in my mind

to pass the time

and inspire another one

of my twisted rhymes

 

 

 

Two Blogger Awards In One: Mystery and Versatile

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Thanks to Just Me (https://silentfall.blog) and  1WiseWoman (https://wisewoman2016.wordpress.com/) for nominating for the Mystery Blogger Award and Versatile Blogger Awards two weeks ago, respectively.  Just Me is already one of my favorite bloggers, thanks to her beautiful (and sometimes amazingly sexy) poetry and wonderful sense of humor, while 1WiseWoman has been a blog devoted to strength, awareness, and support of those with mental illness. As Just Me is also an aspie, I can really relate to each and am grateful for the kind words they leave on my blog. YOU LADIES ROCK.

In addition to Cocoons’ nomination for the Blogger Recognition Award, it’s been an AMAZING week for the blog, and I am too eager to use this time to once again say THANK YOU to ALL my readers. Whether you’ve known me since August, or followed me today, you’ve made this all possible.

Rules For The Mystery Bloggers Award is:

 

  1. Post the award logo/image on your blog
  2. Thank whoever nominated you and give a link to their blog.
  3. Mention the creator of the award and give a link as well.
  4. Nominate 10–20 deserving bloggers and notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  5. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; including one weird or funny question.

The rules for the Versatile Blogger Award state that you thank the blogger that nominated you, nominate 10 other bloggers (and a link to their blog) and list 7 interesting facts about yourself.

Firstly, lets answer the questions from Just Me

1.  Name one thing that you do that always feels right, no matter what.

In the words of Edgar Allen Poe, “With me poetry has not been a purpose, but a passion”

2.  
Where do you draw the most inspiration for your blog?

Life on the spectrum, depression, Fall Out Boy, and girls
3.  
Who is your favorite anti-hero and why?

Batman without a question. As an aspie, I really relate to his ability to do work from the shadows and be extremely focused and to the point.
4.  What is the inspiration behind the name of your blog?

It’s the summation of what you might call my writing. Nothing fancy here.
5.  And, finally, what is your favorite genre of music?

I really don’t have a favorite genre. I have favorite artists, but my tastes vary too much to like one specific genre. If I had to choose, it would be rock because of FOB. But I also admire Lecrae (rap), Lady Gaga (dance-pop), and Demi Lovato (pop rock).

 

Now, seven interesting facts about me..

  1. The longest I’ve had a friend is four months.
  2. I’ve drowned two smartphones
  3. Live in Baltimore. Never had a crabcake.
  4. Took voice lessons when I was eleven
  5. Mandy Kay is my favorite model
  6. I pulled out two teeth once because it was fun
  7. Blonde girls are my type

My five questions for my nominees

  1. Favorite country?
  2. Stranded on an island and you can only have one thing, what is it?
  3. Beyoncé or Rihanna?
  4. How do you eat French fries: ketchup on top, or on the side?
  5. Name one guilty pleasure

And, for the nominations…(to save time, the nominees are for each award)

https://theconfusedsoulsree.wordpress.com/

https://randomsbyarandom.wordpress.com/

https://chaosxdblog.wordpress.com/

https://missalexiskamille.wordpress.com/

http://www.anxietydepressionandme.com/

https://teaandtales1.wordpress.com/

https://manumausam.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

 

One More Night

WAMTAC

One more night

one more time

I don’t know what to tell you

so let me put it in a rhyme

even as a poet

there are days when I don’t know what to say

the well runs dry, clouds hasten in forgetting to rain

and my mouth hardens and cracks like clay

some nights she won’t even look my way

so I take my pillow sulking

and on the couch I lay

there are some days I write little

but never not at all

writing is my breath, my air

and without it I will surely fall

I don’t know I lived

before I began writing

maybe that’s why I wasn’t

fighting everyone I came across

because I didn’t know what to do

with the anger pent up in my head

now I love my life

and can finally talk to you

well, let’s save that for another time

I’m still a terrible conversationalist

so one more night, one more time

I hope you enjoyed my rhyme

 

The War Of Poetic Conviction

WAMTAC

Convention

waging endless war

against my unwavering condition

arrows of all kinds

and sizes

fly through the air in mass

darkening the sun as it rises

tipped with oil, tipped with fire

they rarely kill

but injure greatly

designed to cause will to waver

and crumble when the infantry

comes later

day and night the siege rains on

they cannot hold this city

but for so long

no food to re-wire my mind

no fountain to make me young again

cutting off my life support

the empty space I need to breathe

sanity drains from my mind

through an eternal sieve

even my blood turns a cold shoulder

like I’m afraid of living

the days of old

just when the night seems to end

the moon folds it’s hand

sneaking a cunning glance

at the sun and stars

as he pulls his winnings in a pile

the dawn turns towards the deceivers

eyes reddened with intense flame

with searing pain destroys the enemy

from this son comes poetic conviction

that topples the medical profession’s

worthless predictions

tone and diction, I’ve got it in my hand

to rally my soul brothers and sisters

it’s all part of my plan

The Good Doctor and Christian Wolf be damned

I’m tired of seeing us misinterpreted

given superhuman traits

just to make a cute story

our story isn’t for your entertainment

rather our struggles

cause lifelong derailment

tell them I’m coming

I’m going ham