Not Yet

Staring towards

An evening under the sun

Shaded by ice-capped mountain

A hearty, frosted breeze brings chills

Then giggles, because I never

Bring a warm enough coat

But see, I have you so I don’t need to

Your hands guide me through

When I don’t want to, or when I can’t

People still don’t accept us

Yet

That never stopped you, and through us

We’ve made them see the truth

It’s not what you do

But it is what we choose

We’re beautiful in the cover of dark

And illuminating at the sun’s highest

Turning history’s chapter forwards

And pushing the phobias towards the rear

I never meant to start a war

But your love showed me

If I don’t fight for you, who will

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This Way

Everybody writes about

How they were born

This way

That way

But does anyone ever say

What that way

Really means?

How it stirs my heart to write

And calms my soul to remember

All of the pain and promise made in vain

Opened windows begat shattered dreams

Each one I chased again and again

I don’t have a success story like so many

Nobody’s named a street after me

But there’s a paved roadway in my mind

And I traverse further each day

Discovering what I couldn’t, and that I can

I’m more than a vessel, I’m a cog in a plan

Each breath reminds of the journey taken

Each blink of the eye is confidence brazen

Each death is a light into the why

I was born this way

Leaving Me

They just

Keep on

Swimming

Maybe I’m just not attractive enough

Hard enough

Naked

Enough

Enough of this chatter

Before they think I’m in the closet

But I am, though

It’s raining, men

Writing words that put me asleep

So that when I awake I remember

Everything I have to do

I call it being at one my self

Pull it out in the aisle, hand it behind a curtain

I’ve seen too many and none ever pleased

Because they never thought of me

Am I simply a place to release?

Or a secret cove of wonder

Just begging to be explored

Government may shut me out

But love

It opens the floodgates of heaven

Sailed

I kissed a girl

In a dream

I believe

Our interest in each other

Was minimal

But typical of teens

I found solace in her lips

And my hips provided a place to rest

We’re so tired

Of love songs

We just want to cure the pain

Dip into the reserves of silence

Biting, it’s tightening, our hands

Around our hearts

Never dare to let the other go

Or risk pulling the cord out the socket

Electricity strikes three times at the least

Eating up her love as if I’m at a feast

Never ending, never failing

Constant race

But

Sometimes you push yourself

Too far

And away we sailed

Color

I not afraid

Of true colors

My

True

Colors

Truth is, there once was a time

When I didn’t even know

What they were

I thought, with anger and disposition

Towards flying off into profane attacks

Pollack would be shamed

Instead I painted a withering rose

Swept into the sewers by the slightest rain

But

Time changed me

Patience, it rearranged me

And now, all the flares and confused faces

They can’t shame

Me

My true colors

On this spectrum is where I’ll live and die

Because for a world that never cared

For me, why should I lie?

Mother’s Revenge

Singing rain, sleeping through the pain

Don’t ever wake me again

Nightmares shake the essence of my reality

Leave me wondering

If I’m destined for hell

They scream of fire

Wringing hands holding the heads

Of babies immediately set to the flames

It’s too hot here

Anywhere

(And this will last forever)

I am no prophet, but killing for profit

Will surely find us wanting in the end

The margin between life and death

Is slim to none, when held against

The spectrum of universal power

Contained within the core of our Earth

Populations may ignore sobbing skies

And the animals that perish

Right beneath our feet

But the stars are orchestrating a song

To sing us into a slumber

From which we cannot wake

Likeness

Where are you, happiness?

Why do you hide

Under the weight

Of a condition never heard but always seen

A smile? Harder to attain than a kiss

I just don’t understand why they wish

I am me, for now and forever

But what if I wasn’t? What if I was like them?

Talked like them

Danced like them

Loved

And was loved

Like them, by them

Would I be happy then?

Or would I just be placated

Into falling past the guardian angel

Called uniqueness

And into a realm of too many strings

Not enough puppets

And a stage so small that killing

Is the only way you’ll ever get dialogue

The thinking ones don’t entertain

The silent ones don’t inspire laughter

And the ones who wish for a better home

Are sent rather painfully

Sleepless

Deep breath, in, goes the sin

Deep breath, out, comes the pain

The wasted moments, broken promises

Time never to be gained

Or even realized

Sighs don’t do my heavy heart justice

Neither do the sleepless nights

Days where I say less to everyone

Because I’ve said so much to myself

Disappointment rains down, and I

Am stranded without a way home

The road is winding and long

Full of shallow souls with tiny hands

They cannot help me

Or themselves

So do they wander in eternal misery

I pass by their shrouded homes

Graves littered with roses and the like

We do not remember you, remember you

Must, or else be cast overboard

With all the waste and negligent purchases

Our vain temples could ever afford

The golden chains weigh me down

And I inhale with contempt the aching bones

Of forests swallowed by fire

And the oceans filled to the brim

With everything but water, O Father

I know you don’t expect us to be perfect

But

This

Is just a shame

Seeds

Forget

Can be forgotten

When I found someone new

On borrowed time from you

I needed a new partner-in-crime

And now, she’s in my life

Time never asked my preference

And my head never mentioned

She wouldn’t set my heart ablaze

But my spirits, she did raise

Now I don’t know why she’s leaving

But life is fair to no one

The good works left behind

Cannot be undone

Only redone

By the seeds not yet germinated

She left us a smile never shaken

And a hand always awakened

To the possibilities of goodness

With every incoming breath

Thought

Tell me, do you ever think

What we could have been

When the guilt passed, and the messages

Stoped coming

Did you think of me then?

Just. When. Did. The. Pain. Stop.

For me? For you? Whenever I got on top

Did I ever? I remember so little, and so much

Transpired, but I’m always tired

So I missed your texts, your calls, so you

Found someone who wouldn’t, and didn’t

It made sense to everyone but me

So you talked to everyone but me

And now I feel like everyone is free

But me

But me?

I didn’t to make you feel this way

But I didn’t know how to be sane, for myself

Me

It’s always me