An aspergian who didn’t even know he was one until four years ago. I spent the first two years in bitter denial, disbelief, and confusion while trying to make myself believe I wasn’t this retarded sounding condition. The last two years have been much different, however. I read every book of John Elder Robinson’s, among others, that taught me about the condition, and this newfound knowledge made me more aware of my strengths, weaknesses, and who I really was a person. As you may already know, and will continue to learn through my posts, Aspergians are shy, quiet people who struggle with anxiety, social interaction, and relationships of every variety. But, there’s more to the condition than this. Too many times I’ve been ignored or ridiculed because of my glaring weakness in these areas, and I’ve suffered a great amount of guilt and shame because of it. It can lead to serious depression, and I’ve had many low points where I hated myself. Aspergers isn’t a disease. It’s not curable. It is something I have to live with, each and every day. After the first two years, where I became more active in finding answers to my questions, I began to realize something: I didn’t have a voice. I didn’t have an outlet for the pain I was feeling, and since I don’t know anyone personally who has my condition, I began to feel lonely. I didn’t know why at first, but I took up writing. I wasn’t even a very good writer at first, really just rambling on without any cohesion, but over the last two years of my life the fire turned up. I can’t go a day without writing, and I feel I’m improving every day. I’m trying new forms, and reaching out to other writers for inspiration, ideas, and support has helped me realize I’m not alone in this fight. I still don’t have anyone personal I can talk to about this, but that’s where pen and paper stepped in. My life has become a journey, and I’m glad to share it with you.
I’m not a socialite, conversationalist, or Ravens fan. I don’t eat crabs, but I do like Old Bay. I don’t support gay rights, but I have friends who do. (We are humans first, always have been, always will be). Abortion is a fancy word for murder. Autism Speaks actually does more harm than good for autistics. Hillary Clinton is part of a child sex ring, so Donald Trump calling her a nasty woman isn’t really that wrong. America’s biggest problem is that we’re lazy and don’t want to do anything for ourselves anymore, that’s why people are so upset about Trump’s healthcare plans. Why there are people that defend Bill Cosby always bothers me. Eric Garner and Michael Brown (along with a great deal of the BLM martyrs) were criminals, so their deaths really were less tragedy, and more along the lines of the expected for a criminal. Baltimore sucks, honestly. Once you’ve done everything, things get boring really, really fast. And if you want to go anywhere, you’re better off walking because the busses are crap. And when you do get on one, take a newspaper, because somebody probably peed in the seats. That’s also if you can even get a seat
(now that I’ve triggered most of you)
I am a writer and poet. My work is regularly featured on SpillWords.com, and I was nominated for May Publication of the Month. You can also find me on Literary Arts Review and Teen Ink, the latter of which published my poem in their monthly magazine in 2015. I spend a good deal of my time writing and updating my blog. It’s really one of the few places where I feel free, open, and safe in discussing my life with Aspergers Syndrome. Through blogging I’ve developed as a poet, and have “met” some incredible people through it. Some of you I follow here as well. Hopefully I’ll be able to use my blog following when my poetry book is published. I write all the time, even when I probably shouldn’t be.
“With me poetry is not just purpose but a passion”
If I’m not writing, or thinking about writing, you might find me working at Mary’s Gourmet Coffee and Donuts on Thursday and Friday from 10-4. I’ve been working since March, and despite it being my first job, I’ve really settled in and enjoy selling people the best donuts in all of Maryland. If you haven’t had our donuts, you’re not doing life right.If I’m not doing either of those, I’m either spending time with family, reading, or keeping up with my KC Chiefs. No, I do not like Alex Smith. No, Jamaal Charles has never been my favorite Chief. No, cutting Maclin was not bad. Yes, Travis Kelce is good looking. Yes, Justin Houston is better than Khalil Mack, and yes, they will win a Super Bowl before I die. I’ve been a fan since ’09, and I’ve witnessed five playoff games and one win. Living in a house of Patriots fans, I lose TV watching rights extremely early in January. (Or December, if Matt Cassel is involved). I’m also a huge Fall Out Boy fan, and Folie Et Deux was their best album. Come at me.