Stop Putting Out, Give Out

When I stop putting out

Will you stop coming back home

My body’s more than a tunnel to him

But to you, I’m simply a plate

You eat your fill, then discard what you hate

I hold my weight in my hands, am I ugly

He adores my body, each shallow, every curve

You hold a ruler to my chin and heckle

“Why can’t you be like them?”

I drive down highways I can hardly name

Crying in pain, crying in shame

What is worth this material life, why bother

When everyone would rather see me die

Exhale the smoke you breathe into my face

He turns around and sucks every atom out

But he lives

So far away from me

His heart beats louder and louder

I wish I could run and stay with him forever

Yet I can’t keep my head above the memory

Drowning in the punishment

Befalling me

At skyfall, I know he’ll be waiting for me

But will I? No, the tree feels my hair

And my feet swaying