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Aspergers creative writing Poetry reflections

clown post

Nobody’s ever talked to me

longer than a few months

so why am I surprised? did I lie?

when I said I’d rather be alone and happy

then surrounded by people and petrified

The calls have never been there, and I go

24 hours without a notification some weeks

What gives, what must be taken to make me

Imaginary?

If there was ever a moment I’d feel I’d made it

They swallowed it whole, misery just won’t

Fucking leave me alone, and I dance

Around the truth inside my mind, the lies

Thinking this will pass, someone will speak out

I can’t always keep it in, the mess I make

Only deepens the shame

Nobody’s ever asked how, only why

I’m this way, and can I get it together

Because my oddities are an insult

What would my mind have me do? BAM

It’s not hard to find a place to drown, or get hit

Just as long as I

put an end to the clown show

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