“Wrong With Me”

I was trapped underneath the weight

Of a childhood always blind to break

I couldn’t read people, they hated how I

Never responded to them, ignored advances

I would just stare, stare, stare, god damn him

He won’t make it, break it, can’t even fake it

A smile, a meager sign that I’m alive?

There was nobody that could help me, none

I looked far and wide underneath the sun

Summers spent hiding at home, I was sick

I was injured, but on the inside, not out

My leg wasn’t broken, my heart was wrecked

I couldn’t bare the weight of unread texts

Teenage angst ran wild in my unchecked mind

Walking streets deep at night, hoping I’d find

A trace of life, a trace of love

There was nobody that could help me, but one

I spent so much time looking outside for truth

That the real root of my revival lay inside me

One day, one moment, and my life changed

It’s not as if I stopped caring what they thought

It’s that I started caring about what I thought

I started caring that when I woke up in tears

Something was wrong with me

When I felt the need to hurt myself

Because I felt that if I did, they wouldn’t

Something was wrong with me

I realized that when it hurt inside talking

It’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to be in pain

Cause I learned my limits, I witnessed

What it meant to be broken down

I realized that all the self harm in the world

Would never make me popular, attractive

And all the things everyone else was

I realized that all the tears were empty

All the broken bottles, witless

In the fight to make me loved, and though

I am

I am not by them

And that hurt, that it still hurts

Shows I have grown up

Yet have more to do

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