Deepest, Darkness Essence

Never mind the doubters on the outside

I can hardly withstand the onslaught

Of tremors in my head, the reminders

All the things I’ve done and said wrong

And each little nugget I tried to ignore

It call comes back, it comes back to destroy

Confidence, control, it’s laid to waste so fast

I truly have the self-esteem to match

Never able to fully ignore the call of the wild

The deepest, darkest essence of my being

All of the mishaps and broken dreams

Misplaced feelings as love wasted on death

Sucking down the erotic air of sin, I’ve been

Left

With the choice to fall deeper into the pit

Or pull myself high enough to at least

See the blood streaming from heaven

And into the cradle I call my words

My life, this time I can’t explain

My god, has the time gone by

People want me to be an adult

People want to be a provider

People want me to be everything

And then some