Well WordPress, this is my first post to you as an adult.
Feels surreal. But also still feels like me. I didn’t change bodies, just a number. A number that entails responsibilities and consequences I didn’t have before.
With work taking much of my time, and preparing for college in fall, I have been feeling very numb as of late. I haven’t been feeling much of anything. Happiness or sadness, anger or frustration. It’s a bad place to be when you’re just…floating. I guess all the customers have gotten to me, and I didn’t notice. Or this is just my subconscious trying to save me before I have a meltdown. Maybe neither. Maybe both.
I’m still writing. More than ever actually. Words are coming from places I didn’t even know were inside me. I haven’t posted anything onto here of these pieces because I’m saving them…I’m hoping to take this blog, and you (obviously, as my reader) a little deeper into how my mind really works…what I see, think, and interpret this world to be. I’m still sending my poetry collection out to publishers, and there hasn’t been any real success with that other than the usual “thank you for your submission but we’ve decided to look elsewhere” responses. I’m not deterred. I know I need to keep writing.
I like the work I’ve produced over the summer, and in time you’ll get to enjoy it as well, but for now I need to take a break. When you become disconnected with your heart and soul, as I have lately, you start to lose other things too. Working and being constantly around people has forced me to become distant to my feelings, because with them I’m emotional and reckless, with good intent, but as every aspergian knows they show us for who we are, and many don’t like that kind of person. The mask has been on, and will stay on, but I need to replenish the supply.
I don’t really have a timetable on when I’ll be back.
I leave you with the hottest woman from Suicide Squad (Harley truthers bite me)
and some of my birthday twins