An Overloaded Aspie Mind Needs A Break

WAMTAC

Well WordPress, this is my first post to you as an adult.

Feels surreal. But also still feels like me. I didn’t change bodies, just a number. A number that entails responsibilities and consequences I didn’t have before.

With work taking much of my time, and preparing for college in fall, I have been feeling very numb as of late. I haven’t been feeling much of anything. Happiness or sadness, anger or frustration. It’s a bad place to be when you’re just…floating. I guess all the customers have gotten to me, and I didn’t notice. Or this is just my subconscious trying to save me before I have a meltdown. Maybe neither. Maybe both.

I’m still writing. More than ever actually. Words are coming from places I didn’t even know were inside me. I haven’t posted anything onto here of these pieces because I’m saving them…I’m hoping to take this blog, and you (obviously, as my reader) a little deeper into how my mind really works…what I see, think, and interpret this world to be. I’m still sending my poetry collection out to publishers, and there hasn’t been any real success with that other than the usual  “thank you for your submission but we’ve decided to look elsewhere” responses. I’m not deterred. I know I need to keep writing.

I like the work I’ve produced over the summer, and in time you’ll get to enjoy it as well, but for now I need to take a break. When you become disconnected with your heart and soul, as I have lately, you start to lose other things too. Working and being constantly around people has forced me to become distant to my feelings, because with them I’m emotional and reckless, with good intent, but as every aspergian knows they show us for who we are, and many don’t like that kind of person. The mask has been on, and will stay on, but I need to replenish the supply.

I don’t really have a timetable on when I’ll be back.

I leave you with the hottest woman from Suicide Squad (Harley truthers bite me)

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and some of my birthday twins

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11 Replies to “An Overloaded Aspie Mind Needs A Break”

  1. I’m glad that you’re honoring your need for a break, Devereaux. Replenish the well and we’ll see you when you get back. I’m glad to hear that you are writing and sending your work out! Your poetry is beautiful and you have a lovely heart and soul. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Breaks can be vital. Very much understand. Keep plugging away at your writing. You are so, so talented. I hope you can do better than I have on believing that. I received a LOT of those letters before the “yes” came and really let myself get discouraged. And, of course, for me, when the “yes” finally came, I found it was not all it was cracked up to be, or, rather, more that I was not as up to the task than I’d like. I don’t say that to discourage you so much as to remind you to keep the love of what you do in the forefront no matter what. When the right door opens-and I believe it will-be ready. It DOES require a lot of strength and perseverance, as much if not more than in the days of submitting work. But, I think you’ve got it in you.🙂 Lots of prayers going up for you, friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Totally understand the need to take a break. I found it hard to stay away though! I managed to fill my drafts folder with stuff in the meantime! And yeah, work can have that effect on you. I don’;t know what the answer is.
    If you can’t find a publisher for your work, there is always the self publishing route. Bit of a learning curve but totally doable. And you learn it once, then reuse that knowledge as many times as you want. Only downside is you have to do it all. Cover, editing, front and back matter, formatting, publishing, marketing BUT you can do as thorough job of that as you want. Some people just write it and get it out there ASAP. Also, you can pay others to do covers or edit. And there’s a whole gamut of prices for that. Doesn’t have to cost a fortune. I’m about to self publish my first book. I’m not expecting it do sell well but it is a start and I’m hoping to build on that. I have to. It’s all I’ve got really! I’m super happy with it and that’s the main thing. They say “write one for you and one for them”. So I’ll try and make the next one more sellable.

    I really hope it works out for you Devereux. Whatever you do do not ever stop writing.
    We live in an overpopulated overcompetitive time when it’s damn hard to get noticed for anything. And getting noticed often has very little to do with how good you are and a lot to do with how many tricks you have up your sleeve. But one thing shines through listening to all the self publishing podcasts … tenacity is everything and if you’re any good at what you do(which I believe you are) eventually something’s going to fall into place. So hang in there man even when there’s no love. Do it for yourself when it’s like that.

    Liked by 2 people

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