The Monster Inside A Child

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I’m the one
they put on poles
with reward written in red
lipstick from the sex slave
they mark the hunted
adulterated youth and broken sense of trust
defiled by the brutality of humanity
crawling through the night, I only drink
from the puddles underneath dirty tents
or what collects on windshields
fists buried deep in pockets
head hidden under a black hood
nobody sees the eyes
burned from reading degrading comments
those who share a last name
the tears sometimes carry me home
when my feet can’t take the streets anymore
the people won’t let me walk with them
children turn away
teens kick rocks my way
I’m a freakshow, an outcast
and their barbs sometimes can’t be outlast
but someone was different
they took the key
opened my jail cell
no price, no fee, no tax
just an open door
another shot at life
don’t shy away from the bullets
light a flare and wave it on a hill
that’s me
the heathen
washed up, dirty, and unwanted
to anyone but my fellow autistics
I’m all but forgotten
crazy and careless
mentally disabled
but self enabled
to make you aware of this
you don’t know the aspergian
sitting next to you
why anxiety and depression
is sitting next to you
don’t ask
what we might do to you
don’t look into my eyes
look into the barrel
hope I’m empty
emptier than the space that’s in my heart
wishing for parents who knew my name
or a friend that I could say
I’m glad to see you again
when you’re angry
and depressed
when you try to live
try to love
but life’s a mess
sometimes it’s easier
to just press reset

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