Of All The Girls In The World

31

Of all the girls in the world

I don’t think there’s one for me

of all the girls in the world

there’s not one that I can see

blinded by autistic cuffs

I’m desensitized to anyone’s love

and they’d never know it

because I don’t talk about my struggles

afraid to scare people away

but they see my silence, my introversion

and I wind up doing it anyway

I sigh

I cry

at the loneliness I see before my eyes

and while I try

there’s not an ounce of intuition I could buy

I remember once, trying to be cool

trying to fit in

and in desire of normality

I committed the Cardinal sin

once they saw

how backward I really was

they became quick to dissapear

now look how lonely I’ve become

and no, I’m not completely upset

being by yourself is far more than a regret

but at the blood I’ve let

in hope to change my future

I’ve lost sight of the truth

that I’ll never find my suture

A kindred spirit of mine

told me to never give up

but I’m sorry ma’am, I have to

to save energy for what I love to do

and not for something

that’ll never come true

 

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16 Replies to “Of All The Girls In The World”

  1. Ah-ah wait for it.
    You’ve just begun, begun to be yourself. Staying true to yourself and letting the people see you, the real you is in itself a great challenge and a beauty. And obviously, your game with the words is mind-blowing. Loved the post
    And stay happy. You will find your destiny awaiting for you to lighten them up πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I get periodically overwhelmed, Devereaux, so my blogging occasionally lags. I do love your poetry and will try to catch up when I can. Hold out hope, my friend. You are young and impatient like every other young person on the planet! Enjoy each day to the best of your ability and I believe your time will come. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I know the feeling old pal. It’s a pickle. I know it feels hopeless, but still, never close that door completely is all I’d say. Strange and unexpected things have been known to happen. Not always, not like in the movies, but still, sometimes they do. My problem is I have removed myself from the running because I feel I have nothing to offer. Like my limitations fall short of their expectations. And to me it feels like that was a conclusion slowly reluctantly reached through a lot of trying and a lot of pain. But I also acknowledge that from an outside perspective, it could be argued that I’ve set up a self-fulfilling prophecy. Chicken/egg. “You’ve got to be in it to win it”. I think some of us with learn to be self-deprecating, self-limiting to preempt and circumvent inevitable failure and judgement. And that is a hell of a logical response to a lifetime filled with that. But alas, we are sabotaging ourselves by taking ourselves out of the running. So my advice is to jam that door open come what may and try to still put yourself out there. Because unexpected things can happen.
    (sorry you probly didn’t want to hear all that but my fingers ran away with me)

    Liked by 2 people

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