When You Want To Reach Out But Your Brain Says No



I want to make friends, I really want to

but my insides want to fight it

bouncing between shy

and silent

you can’t ever say you’ve been this low

until you’ve tried it

They come, they go

they talk for hours

but they’ll never know

I just can’t say it

I don’t know how

I didn’t tomorrow, and I won’t now

Rather they make assumptions

and forget my existence

or let them know the truth

and the questions be endless

They don’t talk to me

and I usually don’t mind

but tonight I’m crying, I want to join in some time

I’m bland, I’m a bore

I don’t have any friends or the latest gossip

and I write poems at an age where writing is a chore

I’m getting older

and I feel like I’m running out of time

This condition, the control

this life, is it really mine?

When you want to reach out

but your brain says no

that’s the first sign

that it’s time to go

I want to try

and live another day

hoping that once, just once

the nod will roll my way

but if not

then I’m all too ready

to tie the knot


34 thoughts on “When You Want To Reach Out But Your Brain Says No

  1. When you get the nod, can your brain be stopped from saying ‘no’?

    We taught our elementary students to keep extending the ‘nod’, because one of these times the ‘nod’ will be received because the brain is ready.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. In working to integrate student ‘A’ who is on the autism spectrum, we told the other students to regular extend an invitation to include student ‘A’. We told the students to not take a lack of response or acknowledgment from student ‘A’ as a rebuff but simply her way of saying she was not ready. It took about 6 months to have a sense of trust develop where student ‘A’ was able to respond and join in.

        The challenge for the teacher was knowing whether her efforts were being properly directed. It’s hard to know whether a lack of response or acknowledgement from student ‘A’ was because the teacher’s approach was not appropriate or whether student ‘A’ was not ready to accept.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. So so sad…. Brianna was looking forward to your call. That’s why I had her answer the phone tonight. You are never a bother to us sweet Devereaux. Please call tomorrow if you can.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. She always does… 😉 Don’t feel bad about it, how would you even know…. 🙂 If that happens next time, just call her back in about 15 min. She doesn’t take that long to eat. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes, and we always eat dinner together as a family, and every night we choose somebody to come up with a random question that we all have to answer. It’s fun going around the table and hearing everyone’s answers. 😉

            Liked by 1 person

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