When You Want To Reach Out But Your Brain Says No

 

I want to make friends, I really want to

but my insides want to fight it

bouncing between shy

and silent

you can’t ever say you’ve been this low

until you’ve tried it

They come, they go

they talk for hours

but they’ll never know

I just can’t say it

I don’t know how

I didn’t tomorrow, and I won’t now

Rather they make assumptions

and forget my existence

or let them know the truth

and the questions be endless

They don’t talk to me

and I usually don’t mind

but tonight I’m crying, I want to join in some time

I’m bland, I’m a bore

I don’t have any friends or the latest gossip

and I write poems at an age where writing is a chore

I’m getting older

and I feel like I’m running out of time

This condition, the control

this life, is it really mine?

When you want to reach out

but your brain says no

that’s the first sign

that it’s time to go

I want to try

and live another day

hoping that once, just once

the nod will roll my way

but if not

then I’m all too ready

to tie the knot