An Aspergian’s Chemical Romance

No backstory, just one of the hardest poems I’ve ever written 😦

Every day

is a battle for unclaimed ground

and most times

the anguish of defeat

is the only sound heard

Every night

I try to hold on to inches

the struggle, the fight

sometimes lasts a sentence

my heartbeat

that faded away a long time ago

unresponsive to love

even a smile, I barely know

every breath is a snow day

trapped inside

poisoned lungs

a chemical romance

between fear and anxiety bred

from failed relationships

you don’t her face

you never heard her laugh

you don’t why her leaving

broke me

made me crash

I flew through twin towers

addiction with conviction

every breath lost

I gained in moments

breathing harder

I went back farther

every climax

brought her back

don’t tell me

what to do

faced with that kind

of lost love

you’d do it too

I ever had anyone

to call friend

until she pressed send

and since

the dents in this titanium heart

are more visible

than ever before

once more, I open this door

let in the rushing wind

and bitter winter air

I deserve it

yes, it’s only fair

she’ll punish me

every time I try to win her back

but she’s too far away

and I’ve fallen inside

the black

I took a chance

a dare

didn’t know

where I was going

far away from home

into an unknown

guided by

an invisible hand

I was treated to a brief stay

we came close

so close

I wished to stay by her side

to love her, call her mine

the time felt right

thought I was old enough

knew what I was doing

little did I realize, I wasn’t the one doing the choosing

we split apart

for unknown reasons

you could ask the seasons

you could ask the sky

but they won’t tell me why

I hate myself

throwing away a beautiful girl

stupid me

stupid me

I haven’t come close since

I haven’t even tried

scared to lose another

my  tendencies, I can’t smother