Cut It Loose? Not this Aspergian Freak

wamtac

Firstly, this was an incredibly emotional movie for me. Ben Affleck’s portrayal of Christian Wolff was outstanding, and the fact that his character was on the autism spectrum made it even more incredible. It was believable. It was real. And it was personal. Between the constant repetition, the struggle with relationships even though he wants to, and the internal struggle with oneself, I saw own Aspergian self in his character. The Accountant was easily the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. I bring this up because ofΒ  a quote from the movie, specifically early in the movie when Chris’s father is talking with his neurologist.

Neurologist: “Your son is different.”

Father: “Sooner or later, different scares people.”

This poem is inspired by this movie…

 

Be yourself?

I can’t just

cut it loose

Neurotypicals,

you presume too much

you don’t understand

how we’re broken enough

rushing out

to be something we’re not

one failure

and in pain we’re wrought

anxiety, depression

and so much pain

just to have to wake

and do it all again

sometimes

I’m glad I never met a girl

I just don’t know how

to say

that I’m on the spectrum

and portray it in a

good way

sure, I can do things

that most can’t

but I’m no superhero

and never will be

People hate

those on the spectrum

because we’re different

we challenge the norm

and that makes them afraid

we don’t believe

every little word

and your petty whispers

are often overheard

“We are different

and sooner later

different scares you”

they run from us

as we run from fuss

and breathe we must

or some become dangerous

If I told a girl

she’d treat me

based on stereotypes

like I belong in a wheelchair

for the rest of my life

or she’ll be scared

afraid of losing normality

or scaring her family

we’re freaks

we’re outsiders

and I’ll never

ever

buy her

a diamond ring

I’ll never

recite wedding vows

take her down to Florida

and buy a big house

or listen to children sing

their favorite songs

I can’t hold her

all night long

I’ll never grow old

and watch our kids grow

or sit together on the porch

and watch the stars glow

I see these people

men and women

normal, unlike me

cheating and lying on their “loved” ones

and I cry inside

I’ll never have that

but they take it for granted

they don’t know

how hard it is

to say hi

but all too easily

they can say goodbye

 

 

 

 

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26 thoughts on “Cut It Loose? Not this Aspergian Freak”

  1. Oh honey for any of them that say goodbye let them…the one that doesnt say goodbye will come along…I dont know when but none of us know when love will happen.. please know that it is going to happen for you…there is a someone, a lot of someones actually that will have the sense and the heart to hold your hand and mean it! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. People do strive to be different, to stand out. However, the ‘different’ they are striving for is confined to a range that does not include being on the spectrum. People want too be different but then again, not too different.

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