An Aspergian’s Letter To Old Friends

If you’re an old friend (or if you’re not, but identify as one), then thank you for impacting my life in the time span we knew each other. If not, then read it as you normally would…also, my posts this month have been on the melancholy side. I’m trying to change that, but when I put my pen to paper I just get sad feelings. I’m feeling better after last week’s depressed state, but nothing “happy”. If  everyone leaves something (a word, a phrase, an image, whatever) positive in the comments, I could use that and turn it into a poem. Maybe that’ll help. In the meantime…

Chest burning

memories of the past keep occurring

I loved the way you laughed

I could listen to it all night

and like a comet you dashed

leaving me surprised

we used to talk everyday

but for some reason the message box got empty

and though I had plenty

more to say

I couldn’t muster the strength to ask

if you were okay

and is it okay

to drop off without saying why

I couldn’t do that to someone else

No, I wouldn’t even try

What did I say to you

Did you know what I never knew?

You played me for a fool

and now I’m begging you

for the truth

It haunts my days, keeps me sleepless at night

wondering if I did everything right

and am I right

to keep wondering

if you’re there

when you have no interest in me

I guess life isn’t fair

and I’ll pay my fare

but I want to get my money’s worth

don’t just leave me

like I have no worth

and it hurts

to be left alone

wondering what to say

when I pick up the phone

hoping not to say

whatever sent you on your way

Don’t forget me

that’s all I ask

from you,

Past