Opened Doors Are Open Ended

Let’s try to find a way out

the depression, the pain

aggression falling upon flesh in an acid rain

afraid to stand, the youth sit and are raptured

washed away in the flashing lights

9-1-1 and colored rights

many are breathing

but few traverse the bridge of eternal life

what does it mean to live

on a planet destined to die

and what a waste of time is love

when everyone we care about says goodbye

I thought I had one

once upon a time

and she’s still here

somehow, sitting rights across my eyes

give me a sign

tell me it’s okay to cross that bridge

but if it’s not

then say nothing more

once my view of the world

changes

I’ll answer the question

for all the ages

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What I Couldn’t Have

you’ve got my staring eye

pit pat pit pat go dripping these words

down the gutter of your heart

steel and sturdy towards the outside

protecting of all your cares

was I once where

here, or there?

I didn’t want to be a last gasp

last chance boy

I didn’t want to be “next”

or “oh yeah, him”

I was to be your first

sunrise from the night

moonlight

after the darkest day

I still think of you the same

I only wanted to be had

I only wanted to be glad

I only wanted

what I couldn’t have

Appreciate Today

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sometimes I look out
into the confusing world
speeding around in infinity
do we ever stop to appreciate
the little moments
the precious slivers of heaven
that grace us but so often
yet so well
I’m guilty
of living in my fantasy
instead of a less gratifying
but oh, so overwhelmingly necessary
reality
I’m afraid of tomorrow
because I have no one
with who to share today
teach me how to believe
in the little lights
teach me to trust the word
without seeing the hands
upon which I was created

Benevolent Death, Malevolent Gravity

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I feel
I see
I hear
I believe
I think
I understand what’s before me
the endless spectrum of life
benevolent
malevolent
and everything in between this
arc
living and dying
is just continuing the breath
trapped in the gravity of space
buying and lying
is just continuing the death speak
of those trapped in gravity
I wish I were a cloud
then I could hide from the blood

We’re All Long Gone

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ripples so clear
light so long
water so blue
hopeful this song
yet short is time
fast are days
quick are goodbyes
just enough to pray
moments are the reflections
on this bridge of life
some see mine as dark and murky
others their single shining sun
I don’t know who to believe
because I see mine as both
but I’m no judge
just a convict in a game
of puppeteers
and paupers
hoping to grope just a little longer
at their long empty bottles

Full Pockets But Empty Hearts

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full pockets
but empty hearts
souls in the dredges
but naked breasts drowning
in the earnings of husbands
strip the world bare
and see the pain
cover the world in a sheet
and see the virgin blood
cover one eye
and see enough death for a lifetime
cover both and hear
enough tears to make the Nile feel shame
cry me a river
politicians and presidents
commissioners and consumers
but you cannot drown out the siren song
of this dying planet
and the souls chained to her bow
take us to Mars
but can you take back the convictions
wrongful but steadfast
run through my heart an iron mast
and it will keep me from enduring
but that’s what they hope
we forget to hold on
so I do
and the setting sun as my guide
I will until there’s no more

Sometimes I Have A Dream

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Sometimes I have a dream I love you
sometimes I just don’t understand
sometimes I wish I could live again
a palace cold as ice
warm as the summer rain
so long, so short can I come again
When the waves come and the winds blow
then your love I’m sure to know
Because is nothing stronger than two hearts bound as one
despite all the obstacles on my path
despite the darkness surrounding me
Despite the myriad of memories
that seek to overthrow my drifting casket
I will follow the purple horizon
Despite my only fear of the unknown
I will follow you to the end of the road

Editor’s Choice Award :) :) :)

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My fourth in the last 32 months, and first of this year, my poem “Biggest Terrorist Of All?” received a Teen Ink Editor’s Choice Award.

“You’ll find the Editor’s Choice badge, Editor's Choice Badge, next to the best work on TeenInk.com. When you see this next to the title of a work, you know it’s something special. Our team of editors reads and reviews everything that’s submitted to Teen Ink – and when they see something that really stands out, they mark it as Editor’s Choice. When your work gets an Editor’s Choice badge, you can be proud!”

I thought this poem was powerful, but worthy of their attention? Maybe. 

They thought it was rad, and maybe you will too. Go check it out here: Biggest Terrorist Of All?

Not Breaking, But Broken

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I’m still addicted

to their bodies dancing

in the pretense of love at night

it’s sinful to desire such actions

that strip away morality, security

and life

but that’s me

skilled at little

vain and arrogant in much

tonight I don’t want likes or comments

just some honesty for once

but that’s just me

too weak to give it up

but strong enough to endure till tomorrow

I care about what you think

I care about what they say

and when the replies seem to be ending

the doubt eagerly becomes brimming

inside and alive

seams left unchecked

the internal war is between me

and me alone, direct

to the point

swelling in my joints

I fall to my knees

I’m breaking it may seem

but I’m quite broken

and no one in this fairy tale

even tries to put me

back together

Nothing Much To Say

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I love to hate

And hate to love

Everything that comes

From above

Words I always say

That you never hear

For fear of breaking hearts

I’ve never been near

And now I’m here

Alone

With nothing much to say

And less to give

Just a quiet soul

Ready to live

Things I don’t know how

And ones I shouldn’t ever

These days are just a mirror

Of forever

So wash up

Chin up

Put a smile on that face

You never know

Who’s looking back