Damn, I wish
I was
Your lover
Your resurgent breath over the highest hill
Your innocent moan in the night’s pleasure
Your beacon when the armies draw nigh
Your chariot when roads swarm with death
Your hope with heaven turns blind eyes
And your fire when reminder is needed
That hell burns much hotter
So love me here, love me now
Before the heretics come
and strip away my joy
Stoke my ashes
Stir my mother fucking heart
Try to move something, anything
Prove to me I am alive
Bitches
Breathless, weary from moving mountains
Only to watch them topple on top of them
I am fire, I am unworthy foe
Match found neither in heaven beneath
Or hell above
Dashing, maddening, and forever wanting
Love I cannot see
And a future I cannot hold
I grow faint not from wishing for death
But life bringing me ever closer to it
Yet at a pace my soul cannot fathom
Destiny arrives all the same, so bring it now
Unless there’s a plan for me
For me
Once prickled senses
Now numbed with screens
Men in metal suits uplifted, saviors
Behind microphones and secret names
True knights of truth hide in the shadows
Afraid of what roundtables may do
Somewhere, nestled in the thicket
Baby birds screech, messengers
Of the impending apocalypse
Nobody listens
Tune them out with lawnmowers
Sound systems
And the droll of our misery and misfortune
Something’s stirring underneath my skin
Electromagnetic currents have me slave
To power structures of greed and malaise
And when the cord is pulled
Do we go out? Do we flicker and whimper?
My disservice to country is a rally cry
To forever serve the universal family
There’s someone wanting to trip the switch
Overload our sensory boards with truth
Stretch me, across borders
Divisions of church and state
Farmland and industrious city
From the tips of Appalachia
To the Sydney funnel web’s quiet den
Amongst the hottest depths
And the most unimaginable heights
Is a connectedness that has no signal
Registers no bars on our devices
Yet is the reason we can fight
every negative thought
There is no single demon raising hell
But millions of angry thoughts
Trillions of wayward glances
And billions of careless actions dumped
Onto the unsuspecting infinity
I don’t have a cry, I have the silent whisper
Of a kid forced into adulthood
Because the world can wait
Doing good, though
Has no age requirement
Guess I never did deal with my dad
Being an addict
No rehearse just malice
Practice? Never, but quick with callous envy
Sought to strike me down, simmer my mind
Freewill to see the pain and change the time
Never understood why he hated me so
Now I’m older, I admire the courage I owned
I take aim at villains, decimate their thrones
Despots who sleep innocent blood die
I could’ve walked down the same dead road
Slithering my lips into pink crevices
Lost in a smoky cloud of eternal slavery
Those genes still exist in me
The ability to snap
And kill
Exists
I’m the monster you never wanted to face
But I’ve tamed it, docile and benevolent
Maybe
To my relatives
Long dead
Buried beneath the mounds
Of a country
Who never saw them as human
Only insufficient articles on a scale of pain
To my contemporaries
Young and vigilant
Yet perpetually worked against
Big suits in the Republican aisle
Always first to the buffet, and first again
For seconds
But give me a third of an inch
With scraps of a pen
And I will make galaxies unbeknownst to man
Tremble
We are all family
So I fight with the power of neutron stars
Because if I can’t save my beloved
Be damned sure I’ll avenge them
Too often we’re appreciated
Long after the music stops
She was brave, beautiful, and by the way
As if our sexuality is a cherry on top
Of their first come, first served microcosm
Self deficient form of news
We always, and I mean always
Lose
Cause they give us a month
And a flag
But if we have no life to enjoy
And ground to call home
What good are monuments?
Poured upon us sanctimonious tokens
Only to be told the bus is full
Am I the only one?
I know I’m not the only one
But, damn, they do a good job
Of making it seem so
Remiss if the fight was given up
Flickering shadows light ink blot dreams
Attic window is telescopic probe into love
Sundown ends temperamental carnality
Sleep carries waters over restless soul
Needing more of that life, less of this one
Dark haired cryptic peeks for blood
Pretty lips spew rhetoric peers consume
One chooses singularity over unity
It’s for naught, frankly
When I wrote for you, and I
Felt emptied of soul and solace
Just to bring a little shade to you
Were you drier? Happier?
I wanted you to be, I thought I could satisfy
Such a pitiable try
All I did was delay inevitable pain
My particleboard roof came crashing in
Truth is, I couldn’t carry you through
The valley, between sensual and suicide
The highs and lows of our minds didn’t align
I was going to bed, leaving you alone
To dream of someone who would always be
There
And then, even now, I think of you
Wondering not if you’re thinking of me
What we should have been
But if you’re thinking now, breathing, now
If you’re happier now
I wanted you to be happy
Background music doesn’t disturb me
I still write like the poet I am
Think like the man I want to be
Through the memories, they don’t fail
To misunderstand why she gave up
Boys can’t see, but man can feel the struggle
No trust, liar
and I failed to pack a punch
Some days forgive, but years beat the drum
My notes are mellow, my song is drunk
Every single message regretted and love
Undone, even though the line can be rung
The bell is shattered, the beach is overrun
My D-Day happens everyday, unscathed
Is my body, bullet-ridden, Swiss cheese mind
I have no love from God, man, or time
They’re all after me, my breath, my check
And I just hit 20, by 35 gonna hit the deck
The life just takes my soul, have I got any left?
My words don’t revive just compromise
My lies don’t rejuvenate just emasculate
The beast within, till it’s tired of my puny body
Escaping to somewhere I wish to follow
For now, this grave is where I wallow
